National Peanut Butter Day (January 24) & National Dessert
Aug 19, 2019 23:18:31 GMT -6
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Post by azurinevebbins on Aug 19, 2019 23:18:31 GMT -6
OOC NOTE: I am posting these two short promotional materials here since they are what Azurine said prior to defeating Skrabz and Tyke when they competed for different grappling groups. I respect both writers highly and feel this must've been an off week for them when matches were announced. Both ended with Azurine connecting with a Pearly Gatekeeper and the pinfall. The Skrabz match in XWO has been erased from the archive, but the Tyke match remains on WWO's forum. These are being posted for historic reference. Thank you.
National Peanut Butter Day (January 24, 2019 is when this match would've taken place)
[Our scene opens with two large 40-ounce jars of peanut butter on a kitchen counter. One’s creamy, the other’s chunky, but they both are JIF-brand peanut butter. A reserved redhead click-clacks in a pair of blue Hell&Heel clear stiletto court shoes, a green rockabilly dress, and her trademark “Shush My Tush” Cooking Apron. She appears ready to make a sandwich but isn’t sure which jar to dip her butterknife into. “The Adorkable Angel” Azurine Vebbins waves into the propped-up video camera.]
Azurine Vebbins: Greetin’s, folk! In advance, please make sure to have subtitles on if you’re comparatively viewin’ da promotional material of myself and my assigned dance partner for Xtreme Wrestlin’ Organization for Turmoil Chapter Dree simultaneously. Aye, yea, aye...I am facin’ da former and longest-reignin’ Mile High Wrestlin’ Heavyweight Champion Skrabal “Skrabz” Stanzas. Personally, I appreciate dat we will be dancin’ at da Moody Coliseum in Dallas, Texas on National Compliment Day. A meticulous man like Skrabz doesn’t waltz onto your dance floor every day. All da same, da more appropriate correlatin’ holiday to celebrate for us is National Peanut Butter Day. B-flat honest, Skrabal, do you comprehend most of what I say or am I just anoder skirt you want to flirt wid?
Askin’ since da last time we teamed up you mentioned bein’ jealous ’cause someone else “felt Dat Azz.” It’s quite a remarkable and marketable feature of mine. I especially love havin’ a missus who knows how to “‘Shush My Tush” on da regular. By da same game token, I have to give you big ups for not turnin’ da ballroom blitz we had wid da Shieldmaidens into a Spank Squad Match. Mad respect, bruv. As for you puttin’ your ham-hocks on me? I’ll allow it.
I’ll allow it since dat’s what da clashin’ choreography sandwich we’re makin’ calls for. Chose JIF as da brand of peanut butter ’cause dat’s what choosy bonus moms like myself prefer. Our dance will also be like a plain peanut butter sandwich given we’re not jelly...jealous and I, for one, am in no mood to jam. Our chanters are also split fifty-fifty in terms of which flavor dey want goin' over. Skrabz be like chunky since he's packed wid protein, burstin' wid nuts, but isn't as easy to digest. Meanwhile, yours truly, "Da Adorkable Angel" Azurine Vebbins comes across creamy. I'm smood, graceful, but deyr doesn't appear to be as much raw processable power.
However, when we're mixed to-ged-er chanters can hardly notice da extra peanuts, right? Every bite, every morsel eventually becomes creamy. Besides, if you're goin' to go down wouldn't you rad-er it be smood? My notions exactly. Stanzas, I fully intend to give you da craziest dance of your career dis upcomin' Dursday night. I also fully intend to make you meet your maker via my Pearly Gatekeeper. Why? So you can huff and puff all da heavenly herb your heart definitely desires.
[The scene ends with "The Adorkable Angel" Azurine Vebbins swirling a knife into both jars, whipping up a scrumptious sandwich, and then taking a decent bite for the camera. After the first bite, the broadcasted transmission fades out.]
National Dessert Day (October 14th, 2018 is when the match would've taken place)
[Our scene opens on “The Adorkable Angel” Azurine Vebbins popping out of a piping-hot prop pie. She’s wearing a blue monokini with a familiar non-Coke logo emblazoned upon it. Ever confident Vebbins speaks about her upcoming clash at WWO All-Star Sunday Night...even with gooey dough and fruity filling dripping off her like vanilla-flavored mud.]
Azurine Vebbins: Happy sincere salutations, folk, from your frenzied...flamenco-in’ like a Floridian flam-in-go… “Adorkable Angel” Azurine Vebbins. Turns out I have a solo dance competition durin’ World Wrestlin’ Organization’s All-Star Sunday Night. Wantin’ to make sure I hit all da necessary beats while also not goin’ over da same rotations. Main reason for not wantin’ to go over da same rotations? Da man I’ll be steppin’ to will be “Kin’ of Coke Mountain” Tyke Index. It’s his debut here and I believe WWO felt no one was more welcomin’ dan yours truly. After all, dis Sunday will be National Dessert Day. As I tweeted when dis sanctioned contest was announced I’m plannin’ on givin’ Tyke his just ones. Da dude really needs a nice, homemade slice of humble pie.
Has a bittersweet yet smood texture similar to da tarts he fancies here and deyr. I, however, am not a tart, a pastry, or some-din’ scrumptious for his scandalous smackers. Speakin’ of da smack, I’m hopin’ dis silence he’s been maintainin’ for da past couple weeks comes from a place of sobriety rad-er dan relapse. All da same I should be prudential. Goin’ to drop him dab center wid my Pearly Gatekeeper. He better hope deyr’s at least twenty-nine denticles in his maw after dat connects. Figure he’s lost one to da “caine” sugar, anoder when pursuin’ anoder man’s damsel, and one by freak accident. Den again, deyr are some who would suggest myself bestin’ Index would indeed be a “freak accident.” Still, I have set a precedent of defyin’ and re-definin’ da odds. Case in point, Edan Bird.
Edan Bird, as some might remember, was a fiendish fowl-named fella. Swept him off da dance floor wid my Sweetheart Sock Hop despite every statistical metric bein’ in his favor. Maybe his boots were too tight, tied to-ged-er, and his ankles amazin’ly swelled up just before I wrapped my arms ’round him. Or maybe I found a way to demonstrate dat even diminutive damsels can dominate. Tyke Index better not be baked Sunday night. Od-er-wise, when he wakes after da pinfall...da lights above will turn him into a golden crisp.
National Peanut Butter Day (January 24, 2019 is when this match would've taken place)
[Our scene opens with two large 40-ounce jars of peanut butter on a kitchen counter. One’s creamy, the other’s chunky, but they both are JIF-brand peanut butter. A reserved redhead click-clacks in a pair of blue Hell&Heel clear stiletto court shoes, a green rockabilly dress, and her trademark “Shush My Tush” Cooking Apron. She appears ready to make a sandwich but isn’t sure which jar to dip her butterknife into. “The Adorkable Angel” Azurine Vebbins waves into the propped-up video camera.]
Azurine Vebbins: Greetin’s, folk! In advance, please make sure to have subtitles on if you’re comparatively viewin’ da promotional material of myself and my assigned dance partner for Xtreme Wrestlin’ Organization for Turmoil Chapter Dree simultaneously. Aye, yea, aye...I am facin’ da former and longest-reignin’ Mile High Wrestlin’ Heavyweight Champion Skrabal “Skrabz” Stanzas. Personally, I appreciate dat we will be dancin’ at da Moody Coliseum in Dallas, Texas on National Compliment Day. A meticulous man like Skrabz doesn’t waltz onto your dance floor every day. All da same, da more appropriate correlatin’ holiday to celebrate for us is National Peanut Butter Day. B-flat honest, Skrabal, do you comprehend most of what I say or am I just anoder skirt you want to flirt wid?
Askin’ since da last time we teamed up you mentioned bein’ jealous ’cause someone else “felt Dat Azz.” It’s quite a remarkable and marketable feature of mine. I especially love havin’ a missus who knows how to “‘Shush My Tush” on da regular. By da same game token, I have to give you big ups for not turnin’ da ballroom blitz we had wid da Shieldmaidens into a Spank Squad Match. Mad respect, bruv. As for you puttin’ your ham-hocks on me? I’ll allow it.
I’ll allow it since dat’s what da clashin’ choreography sandwich we’re makin’ calls for. Chose JIF as da brand of peanut butter ’cause dat’s what choosy bonus moms like myself prefer. Our dance will also be like a plain peanut butter sandwich given we’re not jelly...jealous and I, for one, am in no mood to jam. Our chanters are also split fifty-fifty in terms of which flavor dey want goin' over. Skrabz be like chunky since he's packed wid protein, burstin' wid nuts, but isn't as easy to digest. Meanwhile, yours truly, "Da Adorkable Angel" Azurine Vebbins comes across creamy. I'm smood, graceful, but deyr doesn't appear to be as much raw processable power.
However, when we're mixed to-ged-er chanters can hardly notice da extra peanuts, right? Every bite, every morsel eventually becomes creamy. Besides, if you're goin' to go down wouldn't you rad-er it be smood? My notions exactly. Stanzas, I fully intend to give you da craziest dance of your career dis upcomin' Dursday night. I also fully intend to make you meet your maker via my Pearly Gatekeeper. Why? So you can huff and puff all da heavenly herb your heart definitely desires.
[The scene ends with "The Adorkable Angel" Azurine Vebbins swirling a knife into both jars, whipping up a scrumptious sandwich, and then taking a decent bite for the camera. After the first bite, the broadcasted transmission fades out.]
National Dessert Day (October 14th, 2018 is when the match would've taken place)
[Our scene opens on “The Adorkable Angel” Azurine Vebbins popping out of a piping-hot prop pie. She’s wearing a blue monokini with a familiar non-Coke logo emblazoned upon it. Ever confident Vebbins speaks about her upcoming clash at WWO All-Star Sunday Night...even with gooey dough and fruity filling dripping off her like vanilla-flavored mud.]
Azurine Vebbins: Happy sincere salutations, folk, from your frenzied...flamenco-in’ like a Floridian flam-in-go… “Adorkable Angel” Azurine Vebbins. Turns out I have a solo dance competition durin’ World Wrestlin’ Organization’s All-Star Sunday Night. Wantin’ to make sure I hit all da necessary beats while also not goin’ over da same rotations. Main reason for not wantin’ to go over da same rotations? Da man I’ll be steppin’ to will be “Kin’ of Coke Mountain” Tyke Index. It’s his debut here and I believe WWO felt no one was more welcomin’ dan yours truly. After all, dis Sunday will be National Dessert Day. As I tweeted when dis sanctioned contest was announced I’m plannin’ on givin’ Tyke his just ones. Da dude really needs a nice, homemade slice of humble pie.
Has a bittersweet yet smood texture similar to da tarts he fancies here and deyr. I, however, am not a tart, a pastry, or some-din’ scrumptious for his scandalous smackers. Speakin’ of da smack, I’m hopin’ dis silence he’s been maintainin’ for da past couple weeks comes from a place of sobriety rad-er dan relapse. All da same I should be prudential. Goin’ to drop him dab center wid my Pearly Gatekeeper. He better hope deyr’s at least twenty-nine denticles in his maw after dat connects. Figure he’s lost one to da “caine” sugar, anoder when pursuin’ anoder man’s damsel, and one by freak accident. Den again, deyr are some who would suggest myself bestin’ Index would indeed be a “freak accident.” Still, I have set a precedent of defyin’ and re-definin’ da odds. Case in point, Edan Bird.
Edan Bird, as some might remember, was a fiendish fowl-named fella. Swept him off da dance floor wid my Sweetheart Sock Hop despite every statistical metric bein’ in his favor. Maybe his boots were too tight, tied to-ged-er, and his ankles amazin’ly swelled up just before I wrapped my arms ’round him. Or maybe I found a way to demonstrate dat even diminutive damsels can dominate. Tyke Index better not be baked Sunday night. Od-er-wise, when he wakes after da pinfall...da lights above will turn him into a golden crisp.
