Zombie vs Jansen Myrrh

Date: Tuesday, September 3rd
Location: Lakefront Airport, New Orleans, LA

Off-Camera

It’s a warm day on the tarmac at Lakefront Airport in New Orleans. Jackie “Bandit” Layton is looking over the itinerary, doing a headcount of everyone who was coming on the Cairo trip. Milling about are Alex “Bullet” Carbajal, Angelique “Angel” LeRoux, Aoife “Banshee” Maguire, Katrina “K-Dub” Knox, “Psycho” Saoirse Maguire, Becca “Bruiser” Maguire, and their son RJ Jr. Everyone standing under the shade of the private jet awaiting them as a few of them look at their watches and cellphones, waiting on the rest of the party to arrive. Upon hearing the sound of an approaching vehicle, Bullet looks up

Bullet: “¡Jueputa! About time they get here.”

A black Honda Odyssey pulled up in the nearby parking lot, the silvery-blue hair in the driver’s seat made it obvious that it was Lexa who was driving. Out of the minivan come Wendy “Zombie” Stevens, Lexa Pellegrini, their son J, Essentia “Essie” Carbajal and her girlfriend and Wendy’s sister, Valerie Morielaz. As they all walk up on the tarmac, Wendy is smiling bright, still trying to stifle her laughter, her eyes red from crying.

Bruiser: “Ya alright?”
Zombie: “Yeah, just had the funniest and stupidest dream ever last night, and most of you were in it.”

Psycho smirks and nods as K-Dub helps the group load up their bags in the cargo area.

Psycho: “Ye bae draemin’ ‘bout us now?”
Zombie: “Not like that. Well, not all of you. Anyways, you guys ever see Grease?”

Bandit finishes up her headcount, and cocks an eyebrow when Zombie mentions Grease.

Bandit: “Okay, this I want to hear, but we’re getting short on time. We gotta get in the air in the next ten minutes. We don’t want to miss Sam’s wedding. Let’s roll. Then you’ll have more than enough time to tell us the story.”



While in the air, everyone is out of their seatbelts and enjoying a meal, and Wendy has positioned herself in the middle of the group. J gets up on Wendy’s lap as Lexa is in the seat next to her.

Zombie: “Alright, so you remember in Grease, you had the T-Birds and the Pink Ladies, right? Well, it was those people but Shieldmaidens. Apparently I was Danny. Lex was Sandy…”

Lexa smiles, and leans over.

Lexa: “Did I get to wear the leather outfit?”
Zombie: “I’m ordering you one when we come back. You looked sexy as fuck in it. Alex, you were Rizzo.”
Bullet: “I’m okay with this. Who was Kenickie? Jack?”
Zombie: “Actually, Bruiser.”

Bruiser leans in, only half-paying attention as she was looking out the window, but upon hearing her name, turns to the group.

Bruiser: "Wait, nah, Ale y'can't be Rizzo."
Bullet: "Why not?"
Bruiser: "Well, lass, I like ya and all but Sorsh..."
Psycho: “Aww lass.”
Bullet: "Take it up with Zombie. It was her dream."
Zombie: “I assure you nothing happened between you two.”

Psycho laughs as Bruiser holds her hand. Bandit is laughing.

Bandit: “See, now Ale's gonna dream of Angel in that jacket so that when she gets a hickey from Kenickie... Angel’ll give it to her herself!”

Angel laughs and hides her face as Bullet is surprised at Bandit’s comment.

Bullet: “Jack!”
Bandit: “Tell me I'm wrong…”

Bullet realizes she can’t as everyone is watching her.

Bullet: “Jueputa...”
Zombie: “Knox was Putzie, Banshee was Jan…”

Banshee giggles and smiles wide.

Banshee: “Aye, mayna be likin’ toothpaste THAT much, but that’d be close.”
K-Dub: “Least she got one relationship right. Though, wait, why Putzie?”
Bullet: “You are the Prospect, right?”

K-Dub nods and shrugs.

K-Dub: “Fair point.”
Zombie: “Bandit, you were Patty, the cheerleader trying to get Danny’s, or in this case my, attention. Sorry, but Jack is pretty cute. Sam was Marty, with all the guys after her…”
Bandit: “That’d be Sam. And aww.”
Zombie: “You still don’t beat Lexa in the leather outfit. Never will.”

Zombie leans in and taps Bandit on the shoulder as friends do after a bit of ribbing.

Zombie: “Now, here’s where it gets fucking weird. I know, like it hasn’t already. In my dream, Frenchy didn’t drop out of beauty school, and actually became a teacher herself who was teaching me to cut hair.”
Bullet: “Who was Frenchy?”
Zombie: “How many people with pink hair do YOU know?”
Bandit: “EAVAN! Oh this is rich. You should tell her. Didn’t she say recently she actually dyes her hair pink because of Frenchy?”
Zombie: “That’s probably where this all stemmed from. The hair match, seeing Krigare’s tweet…”

Val shakes her head.

Valerie: “Essie and I were actually watching Grease together the other night. I didn’t realize it was loud.”
Essie: “Weren't we also trying to dr… um, yes, sorry if it was loud.”

Zombie and Bullet look over at their relatives with the expression of parental disapproval before smiling and shaking their heads.

Zombie: “I swear, kids today.”
Bullet: “Where are they getting these ideas? Who’s influencing them?”

Everyone on the plane looks around at each other before breaking into laughter. Meanwhile, Valerie and Essie turn multiple shades of red before they’re enveloped in pats on the arm and hugs and hair tussling.

Lexa: “They fucking ARE like us!”
Zombie: “They’ve got a bit of Jack and Ale in them too. If what Krigare’s told me.”

Bandit glares over at Zombie, trying to keep a serious face,

Bandit: “And what HAS she told you?”
Zombie: “It’s Eavan. Use your imagination.”
Bullet: “Jueputa…”
Zombie: “Oh, I forgot to tell you the best part of this dream. Much as we were Grease characters, we were also mice.”

Bruiser’s eyes light up, and laughs.

Bruiser: “We were the Biker Mice From Mars?”
Zombie: “Yep, antennas and all.”
Bruiser: “I fuckin’ LOVED that show!”
Bandit: “Wait, wait, go back to Eavan for a minute.”

Zombie looks over at Bandit and smirks knowingly, while Bullet has a look that suggests she’d rather not know..

Zombie: “Oh yeah, she was way more open than I wanted to know, and we’ll leave it at that. So anyways, there’s Frenchy in a barber’s chair, not in front of me, I had this dummy head of Jansen on a tray on the chair, was really weird. And Frenchy was telling me how to trim certain areas, how to use an electric clipper and stuff. And I looked over into a corner, and there was a stack of severed mannequin heads, all looking like Jansen. And every time I messed up, Eav, Frenchy, she’d have me kick the head through a goal post. Where that goal post came from, I have no idea. Finally after the twelfth head, and I admit, I kinda enjoyed kicking the heads like footballs, I got the head right, and it wasn’t quite bald. Actually it was very patchy. Tufts everywhere, but Frenchy told me that was the style I should use. And then Lexa came into the room and told me we had to go, and I woke up to Lexa… actually telling me we had to get ready to go. Except she was wearing a loose nightshirt and J was already ready and Mom was making him a bagged lunch just in case and well… yeah that’s why we were late.”

This time it was Lexa’s turn to blush a little. J had already gone at this point to look out the window, check on RJ Jr. with Essie and Sorsh, before going to his seat to and play with his Switch with his headphones on and was oblivious to the whole conversation. Val smacked Wendy on the shoulder.

Valerie: “And you go picking on us?”
Zombie: “Kinda my job ain’t it? Besides, you two are cute together. I see great things with you two. In all of us, really. Fuck what Gates thinks of us, He’s only been showing his true colors since he came on the scene. The more he talks, the less I take him seriously.”

Bullet clears her throat and everyone turns their attention to her.

Bullet: “Normally I’d say be careful not to undersell an opponent, but…”

She pauses, smirking.

Bullet: “Es un caremonda…”

The others chuckle, nodding their agreement.

Bullet: “I noticed after 22, this will be the first time in Mile High every active Shieldmaiden has a match on the same show.”

Banshee and K-Dub look a bit puzzled, and we can see K-Dub looking around at everyone and realizing Bullet’s right.

K-Dub: “Wait, is that right?”
Psycho: “Aye, I bae fightin’ Da War Queen Leah.”
Bandit: “Sam and I are defending the tag titles against SEX.”
Zombie: “Gotta love the promo graphic for that match. I’m fighting Jansen in a title vs hair match.”
Bruiser: “I’m fuckin’ in that battle royale match.”
Bullet: “And I’m fighting Anaquin Adams. Since Rynn, Venom and Krigare are not in Mile High, that’s everyone here.”
Zombie: “Well, shit. What a way to say goodbye to Denver, huh? The lot of us tearing down the Pepsi Center. For now, though, let’s put that out of our minds. Our sister’s getting married, this is her time. And hell, we’re going to fucking Cairo! I never thought I’d ever say that in all my life. And I get to do it with my favorite people. Thank you guys for taking a chance on me. Of course I’ll thank Sam for inviting me as well.”

She leans over and kisses Lexa quickly.

Zombie: “And I’m still liking Wendy Pellegrini, by the way.”
Lexa: “I fucking love you.”



Date: Friday, September 6th
Location: Wendy’s Home, New Orleans, LA

On-Camera

Before we can see anything, we can hear Wendy and Lexa talking, and fussing with something, the camera itself.

Lexa: “Yous sure you want the camera here?”
Wendy: “Yeah, it’d frame the room nicely. And you can view it and move it remotely now.”
Lexa: “Okay, let’s try this. Where should I be?”
Wendy: “Well, we should see you as well. Nobody wants to just see me do solo, right?”
Lexa: “That sounds naughty.”
Wendy: “I meant for the promo. And you say my mind’s in the gutter.”
Lexa: “Go sit down. I’m framing you only. This is your promo. Yous the one fighting.”
Wendy: “Alright, but I’m going to get us on film together soon.”
Lexa: “Was that yous gutter talking again?”
Wendy: “Maybe. Oh shit, we should probably take the cap off, right?”

As the camera cap comes off, we see Wendy sitting on one of the couches in their living room of their New Orleans home. Over her left shoulder was the entry to the dining room where Valerie and Essie are sitting and prepping things and the kitchen where we see Agata Morielaz occasionally flitting around cooking. Over Wendy’s right shoulder, the staircase to the second level. The room is modestly decorated in warm neutrals that reflect the Italian heritage of its inhabitants. Wendy is sitting in a pair of blue jeans, a white t-shirt and a black leather jacket. Her hair up in a fifties-style pompadour wig.

Wendy: “Jansen, Jansen, Jansen. So we’re really going to do this, huh? I was kinda hoping you’d talk yourself out of this match much like Gates did with his because I think, and so does most people, you’re in way over your head.

Now, I hope you can forgive me, but I want the people to fully understand how we got to this moment. Actually, let me get rid of this wig and jacket here, I bought some stuff after a dream I had, won’t give you all the details, though safe to say I was cutting your hair as a biker mouse that looked like Danny Zuko. And then Lexa as Sandy and the leather outfit. If we can get the camera to pan over… no? Dammit. Anyways, let me just get out of this…”

Wendy takes off the jacket and tosses it aside, the cuffs of her t-shirt rolled up, showing off her arms. When Wendy takes the wig off, she reveals a bald cap and smiles.

Wendy: “Alright, we’re going to recap. Rise Again, I fought Azurine Vebbins unsuccessfully for the Throwdown Championship when you decide to make your return to Mile High and lay out Azzy, making your point you wanted, and somehow deserved, a title shot. While I’m sure some were happy to see you, I have to admit, I didn’t know you at all. I didn’t even give you the time of day. I was nursing my wounds after losing to Azzy a second time, was in my own head. I had asked Mr. Mach not to book me as I needed some time to step away, re-evaluate where I was going. I felt like I wasn’t carrying my weight within the Maidens. That was also the day where Lexa really stepped in as a manager and started righting the ship. For the next couple of weeks, I would contemplate what I would do going forward.

Episode Twenty, it’s you and Azzy in the cage. And much to the shock of everyone in the Magness Arena, you beat Azzy to claim the Throwdown Title. Now, what you should have done was take that title and leave. Azzy didn’t have a choice in the matter as surprise surprise, up from the ring itself, I took Azzy to Zombieland and put her lights out. And then I saw you, hold up that title to not only mock Azzy, but me as well. Had it not been for the officials, I probably would have broken you on sight.

I should be happy they were there after all, because it allowed you to show your true colors.”

Wendy sits up, her elbows on her knees, her hands clenched together, the anger starting to rise in her as she tilts her head forward. We can see something written on the cap but Wendy keeps it from view.

Wendy: “You waltzed into AMMO, barking that you’re going to be this great defender, this great champion, defending it every week and you fought who? Ginger Knox? Probably the one person who’s lost more matches than Chris Mosh. I would have normally said Emily Falls, but I have to hand it to her, she sticks with it and she impresses me, so I’d rather lift her up. Mosh? Fuck Mosh.

So you fight Ginger Knox and get a victory nobody would have bet against, then hit the poor girl with another Myrrh-driver to make a point to Azzy and I. Though, all you really proved that night was you take pride in beating the weak. You kinda reminded me of me, and I hated it. I wrestled Raven Trueblood to a victory and on we were to Episode Twenty-One.

Which leads us to our triple-threat match and where the wheels fell off for you. All that training with Candi Bratton, all that training with Paul Bunter, and in the end, you were half-dead after being suplexed through the announce table, and a Pilgrim/Defender to Azurine later, and I became the NEW Throwdown Champion.

And damned if you didn’t start sounding like me some more. The anger, the crazed thoughts. I realized I didn’t want to be that way. I also had a championship to raise, and I vowed to myself I would do just that. I carried that championship…”

Wendy picks up the Throwdown Title that was laid out on the couch beside her and held it up to the camera, the strap accidentally slapping her face.

Wendy: “Seems the title itself wants to fight. I carried this title everywhere. Allowed the fans to touch it, some even held it, because I wanted the fans to have that connection to it, to me, to the Maidens. We’re not the bad guys, we just don’t take shit from people.

At Episode Twenty-Two, I showed up to learn who my opponent for Spectacular Two was going to be. I knew it wouldn’t be Gates, even if I were to put my title on the line against him, he’d still beg off because Your Nutless One is afraid of me. I thought maybe it’d be Azurine, seeing as she’s the one I pinned to win the title. Hell, I could have even suggested I be added to the Tyke vs Skrabz match as I’ve fought them both before and both beat Tyke and pushed Skrabz to his limits.

Instead, you show up. Demanding a rematch, which fine. Former champ’s prerogative, so I called you on it. Five minutes or so later and I have you beat. That’s where it should have ended, but we all saw your meltdown and freakouts on social media, so I should’ve expected something outrageous, but not what you said.

You were putting up your hair for my title. I also saw that look of ‘oh shit’ right after your blurted it out. I even tried to make you reconsider by asking if you were sure. The deer in the headlights look said to me you were scared shitless, but your mouth decided to double-down on it. And I don’t back down from a challenge, so you’re damn right I was going to call you on it.”

Wendy leans back against the couch again, smirking and rubbing her forehead.

Wendy: “Like it? I wanted you to truly see what your future will hold after Spectacular Two. You see, just like in the triple threat match, just like at Episode Twenty-Two, you’ll come up short. And why? Because your focus is too narrow and not on the right places. You look at this title as rightfully yours, but you did nothing of worth with it while you had it. I had that same beef with Azurine. The two of you treated this championship like it was a prop, something to have simply to say you had it. Hell, Azzy didn’t want it for the longest time until she wisened up. And by then it was too late. She lost it to you, and you did pretty much the same thing.

While I might be the current holder of the Throwdown Title, and I call it mine, it’s worth more than that. It’s a status symbol, it’s a reflection of the work you put in to get to that level, and a reminder that you can’t take a day off or rest on your laurels because everyone will be gunning for you. Azzy didn’t get it, you didn’t get it, but I do. I watched all my other sisters win and lose gold, and I saw how they carried themselves, carried their titles, and I wanted to be like them.

THEY are the ones I want to emulate. YOU are and became the person I DON’T want to be. I didn’t accept the match to humiliate you, though I will. I accepted to prove to myself, to the fans, to my sisters that I belong in this business. That I’m strong enough to face the adversities that come with this business. And above all else, I accepted this match so I can do what you couldn’t, and that’s defend against real competition.

Yeah, I said it, you’re real competition. When you get your head out of your ass and properly focused, you’re fierce as hell in that ring. You beat the champ that last week beat THE champ. That says a lot about your ability, and I won’t deny you of that. I want the Jansen Myrrh that walked into Rise Again. I want the Jansen Myrrh who fought Candi Bratton and retired her. THAT’S who I want to face. I don’t want the Jansen Myrrh I saw at Episode Twenty-Two, who looked crazed and pathetic. I don’t WANT a five-minute match, I want YOU to fight like this title, and your career, mean something. That’s who I’m training for, her.

I want the woman who beat the Azurine who beat Skrabz. I want to know if she even still exists. Don’t tell me in words, because all you’d be doing is trying to convince yourself, and that’s already the wrong start. If you want to beat me, if you want this title, you’re going to have to step up because you’ve already started to lose yourself. You dropped Paul. You’re calling in favors from Tyke. I know you’re better than that, but I also know you don’t think the same way. I would even go so far to say you don’t even realize you’ve changed. It’s still status quo for you, isn’t it?

You gave up everything you had left when you lost the thing you feel you shouldn’t have. That’s not status quo, that’s a free fall. How long will you fall before you finally start to pull yourself back up? If we had the match right now, it’d be way one-sided. I have every advantage and I wouldn’t even need them and I’d still beat you. So I want you better than that at Spec Two.

I do have one question though.”

Wendy leans forward all the way, revealing what is written on the bald wig Wendy was wearing.