***NOTE - We understood the RP limit as meaning 1RP per team. Therefore, this promo is a collaboration with Layton***It’s late when the plane touches down in New Orleans. Aoife Maguire and Lexa Pellegrini debark first, followed by Katrina “Hairicin” Knox and Wendy “Zombie” Stevens. As they walk across the tarmac to their awaiting car, Zombie’s phone blings. Zombie looks at it and shakes her head.
ZombieI think I’m in shit.
Zombie shows Hairicin the text she received from Bandit.
‘I know the plane landed. Come to the gym. We watched the show.’HairicinYep, I’d say you’re in for it. Aren’t the Kenyons still there?
ZombieYou thinking I’m going to get gunned down by an AK?
HairicinSomebody’s got your number, Z. I’d face the music, I know what they did to me.
As the four of them get in the car, Zombie fires back a text to Bandit.
‘Just be gentle. Hurt my shoulder on that spear.’--------------
Inside the warehouse gym that sits next to the Shieldmaidens’ Clubhouse, The three in-ring members of an old wrestling faction known as Arsenal, Jeszika Gautier, Bethany Kenyon and Ashley Kenyon, all stand in different places through the room, each working on a different thing with a Maiden. The Silver-haired, heavily-tattooed Gautier stands off to the far left side of the building going over some boxing drills with Shieldmaiden Prospect Gabriela “Taza” Carbajal. In the first ring to the right of them, Bethany Kenyon is directing “Psycho” Saoirse Maguire and Alex “Bullet” Carbajal on submission work, Becca “Bruiser” Maguire, standing next to Bethany. In the second ring on the far right, Ashley Kenyon has Jackie “Bandit” Layton working on her aerial work. When Zombie arrives at the gym, she surveys the rings and the people in them. Hairicin comes up behind her and whispers to her to be humble. Lexa gets in front of Zombie and gets her to look at her as she smiles, supporting her wife. Zombie walks around the area, her arms up like she’s surrendering.
ZombieAlright, yeah, tonight I fucked up. Krigare’s probably sporting some tender ribs right now. I don’t want to talk about it, on to the next match, right?
Zombie shrugs and starts walking over to where Ashley and Jackie are training and gets on the mat outside the ring to watch them. She keeps rolling her taped shoulder, the numbness in her arm still there like a dull ache.
AshleyBitch of a landing?
ZombieI, um, missed. I’ll fill you in on things later.
Ashley nods knowingly.
AshleyYou gonna be good for this?
ZombieYeah, I’m good. Whatcha got?
Ashley nods and then glances across the room.
AshleyHmmm….
As she ponders this question, Bandit walks to the edge of the ring.
BanditYou think we’re gonna gel as a team in time?
Zombie looks Bandit up and down, and smirks at her lack of size before nodding her head.
ZombieOh yeah, we’ll be fine. Look at Harry and I. We’ve only trained a couple of times and we’re solid. And hell, you already have more training than she does, we can adapt well.
Bandit snickers.
BanditShe goes from “Prospect” to “Harry”... does that make you the Hendersons?
Before Zombie can answer, Ashley glances up.
AshleyDid Jackie fucking Layton really just ask somebody if they could gel together as a team? Like… fucking seriously? The woman who has won championships with three completely different partners in two years has to ask if she can team with somebody?
Bandit shrugs.
BanditI had to find out where her head was at after tonight.
Zombie was about to argue this point, but cocks her eyebrow instead and drops her shoulders in defeat.
ZombieI can assure you 100% I am invested in the Maidens. Full members and prospects alike. You have nothing to worry about.
Before Bandit can answer, Zombie leans in and whispers something in her ear which Jackie smiles and nods to.
BanditThat’s smart.
Having overheard what Zombie said, Ashley nods at Bandit.
AshleyWhat’d I tell you?
The smile fades from Bandit’s face and her head droops so her chin hits her chest.
BanditShit…
Ashley motions at her and Bandit slips her fifty bucks.
BanditWe good now?
Ashley smiles from ear to ear.
AshleyDepends, y’all think you can roll with me and Bethy?
Zombie looks over to Bethany and whistles to get her attention, as she looks at Ash with a knowing glance.
ZombieYou fucking knew. Fair enough. Hey Bethy, willing to have that rematch finally?
Ashley grins.
AshleyI didn’t know, I just bet her fifty bucks shit wasn’t gonna be as bad as it looked.
Bandit nods.
BanditAnd like the degenerate fool I am, I took that action…
Zombie shakes her head and pays Bandit on the back.
ZombieSis, never trust a chick with tattoos. They’ll swindle you every time.
Bandit chuckles.
BanditBoy, I better not place bets with a lot of the girls in here then since between Eef, Hairicin, Sorsh, Bruiser, Ash, Jezzy, Nik, Bethy…
She nods to Zombie.
BanditMatter of fact, I think I’m like one of the few that doesn’t…
ZombieHere, probably. Krigare doesn’t have any either, at least not yet from what I heard.
Bandit smirks playfully.
BanditI’d say I’m surprised she doesn’t have one hidden yet but…
She shrugs, the smirk remaining pasted on her face.
BanditI’m also not gonna lie and say she needed any.
Ashley cocks her head in annoyance.
AshleyI swear to God, if you start gushing about how perfect she looks naked, I’m kicking your fucking head off on general fucking principle right fucking now!
Zombie’s eyes go wide and looks at both Ash and Bandit. She takes a step backwards at the same time.
ZombieFirst, TMI. Second, should I call Katra and find out for you? And third, I agree with Ash.
Bandit shrugs, still smirking playfully.
BanditI’d mention a certain somebody else you used to say the same for but I really don’t wanna rev Ash up to kick my ass any harder than she already is.
Shockingly, Ashley laughs out loud.
AshleyWhat, you mean Jazzy? Fuck, I knocked her out twice already…
ZombieReally? For that comment, partner? Maybe I’ll have to spear YOU out of your boots! Look over there…
Zombie points over to where Lexa is sitting. Zombie waves over at her, and Lexa waves back blowing her a kiss.
ZombieShe’s it. Ain't nobody better, or better-looking. She’s also tatted as well, so remember that warning. The Kingdom? I respect them. That’s where it ends.
Bandit nods.
BanditShe does play a mean beat.
Zombie looks over to Lexa and smirks before looking back at Jackie.
ZombieI was gonna say something, but I won’t. She might not look like much, but she’s tougher than me. She’s the Boss Lady at home. I won’t mess with her, but I can also make her purr. So yeah. Now, are we gonna train, or are we gonna talk about our partners or exes all night?
Bandit nods as she sees Essentia “Sangre” Carbajal walk into the room in her workout clothes.
BanditWell, now that Essie’s here, we might even get to try the rookies first before we tangle with two world champions that used to be a championship tag team as well?
Ashley nods and turns to the left.
AshleyJezzy? I need to borrow Taza!
Taza starts to walk over and Essie doesn’t even blink as she alters her course and walks to the ring as well.
AshleyOk, y’all got your practice match here…
Bandit smiles at Zombie.
BanditReady?
ZombieLet’s do it. Sorry, Essie, just don’t tell Val about this, yeah?
Sangre nods as the two Colombians climb into the ring, ready to go. Zombie steps up and walks to the opposite corner to confer with Bandit.
AshleyAlright, Ladies… let’s make this shit count!
--------------
After the sparring session, we see Zombie and Bandit going over their game plan before Bandit checks out. Lexa picks up Zombie’s gear as they say goodbye to everyone. They pop over into the Clubhouse proper and Zombie leans into the doorway with the good shoulder and rubs the bad one. Lexa has a look of concern on her face as she checks her wife over.
LexaIt’s bad, isn’t it?
ZombieBad enough to keep me off the Japan tour so far. I’ll suck it up for Sunday.
LexaWes gettin’ it checked out tomorrow. I’ll get them to give you an emergency appointment before wes go to London.
ZombieI’ve learned not to argue with you, so okay. Even if they can just get me through the pay-per-view and the last show, I’ll be happy. Not entirely a fan of having to face Falls and Mosh again, almost feels like a step or twelve backwards.
Lexa gives Zombie ‘the look’. Zombie knew she was in shit, and that it wasn’t her wife who’d be doing it, but her manager. Meanwhile, one of the other prospects grabbed some ice cubes and put them in a Ziploc bag then wrapped it in a towel to give to Zombie for her shoulder.
LexaChris Mosh has been building momentum lately, and Emily Falls pinned Stacy DeVille last show, Plus, Emily has been under the Coven learning tree. Theys not the opponents you faced before.
Zombie couldn’t argue this. She knew Lexa was always researching, making sure Zombie was as physically and mentally prepared as possible.
ZombieIt’s just… ever since I lost to Stanton, things have been going from bad to worse. Coven has pretty much taken our spots, and now with Mile High closing, they’ll never get their receipts. I thought going to New Frontier with Harry would be a change of fortune and we lost the match on Tuesday…
Lexa...because you speared your tag team partner and fucked up your shoulder maybe?
ZombieAnd now I have the fucked up shoulder, going into a tag match at less than 100 percent, and then the last match with hopefully Tyke Index. I need to get my head right again.
Lexa cocks her eyebrow and turns to Wendy, half shocked and half taken aback.
LexaDid yous just say yous going to start listenin’ to me now?
Zombie smirks and hugs her with her good arm.
ZombieYou saying I don’t?
LexaNot that you don’t, just that it should be more often. Let’s go home, J is probably still awake waiting for us.
ZombieLead the way.
As they leave the Clubhouse, Zombie is about to hand the bag of ice back but is waved off. Lexa is a few steps ahead when Zombie catcalls her. Lexa stops and turns around, her hands on her hips with a smirk on her face.
LexaYous checkin’ out my ass again?
ZombieAlways? I love you.
LexaI love you too, now get in the car.
The camera opens upon Jackie “Bandit” Layton and Wendy “Zombie” Stevens, Bandit seated in a chair with Zombie standing just behind her, each wearing an almost matching ensemble of black jeans, black tactical boots, black band t-shirts and their Shieldmaiden kuttes, the only difference being the bands depicted on their shirts, Cro-Mags for Bandit and The Linettis for Zombie.
BanditI love working in tag teams, I don’t think there’s any new revelations or secrets unleashed there.
Zombie raises her hands in pseudo shock, slapping her cheeks Home Alone-style.
ZombieStop the presses!
Bandit snickers as Zombie’s hands drop away from her face.
BanditSince starting my career here in Mile High and even after branching out to other places, be it WWO, ECWF, Galactic, SRW, EWC, I’ve always been the Maiden that couldn’t wait to be the tag team role.
Zombie nods knowingly.
ZombieCaught some shit for it too...
Bandit can’t help but snicker again as she nods in acknowledgement of Zombie’s point.
BanditSometimes…
She pauses, looking down to the floor momentarily. As she looks back up to the camera, Bandit smiles joylessly.
BanditThe best part is that I’ve had four different regular tag team partners and whether it was Widow, Sam, Ale or Sorsh, I have enjoyed the hell out of being in that role.
Zombie nods, visibly impressed.
ZombieIt’s a hell of a cast of characters there.
Bandit nods in acknowledgement again.
BanditI’ve won gold with three of them and you bet your ass Sorsh and I will get the chance to make it a clean sweep before we’re done teaming together!
Zombie nods pointedly in agreement.
ZombieNo doubt!
The smile fades from Bandit’s face.
BanditIt’s also given me the chance to see pairings that you’d never think of seeing as an actual tag team. Just in my own partners, who would look at me and Widow and think, “Fuck, that’s a pair that’ll be THE tag team of this company!”?
Both shrug as if the answer is obvious.
BanditOr after she left, who really thought Sam and I would gel practically overnight and become THE face of the tag team division here in Mile High to the point that we ran Skrabz’s pals out of the company and we basically ended not one, but TWO other teams when they couldn’t beat us in DTI and Mosh and Ripley...
Zombie smirks cruelly.
ZombieFunny that one...
Bandit nods harshly.
BanditChris Mosh has always been a guy that you look at and think has all the physical talent in the world…
Pausing, Bandit looks back at Zombie and nods to the visibly skeptical larger woman. Zombie looks down at Bandit, crossing her arms as if to emphasize the silent point. Bandit shrugs and looks back to the camera.
BanditShe might disagree but to me, Mosh’s biggest problem has always been that he couldn’t decide if he’s been down with us since day one or if he wanted to get down with us from day one and is now pissed at everything and everyone that nobody ever gave him the time of day! Nevermind a second look, none of us ever gave him a first look and neiether did any other female here because the party boy version of Mosh was an insufferable prat who didn’t have the first fucking clue how to talk to a woman and not get slapped for how drunk fart boy stupid he sounded!
ZombieNo disagreement there.
Her arms still crossed, Zombie cocks her head slightly as if considering this line of thinking and then nods her approval and agreement.
BanditCold-Hearted Chris Mosh didn’t do much better with the whole keeping his shit straight department, he just thought that now that he wasn’t actively making an ass of himself by openly trying to get into our pants because, fuck it, we’re girls, he’s a man and he has needs and what else are we good for, that…
She pauses to shrug.
BanditMaybe now we’ll forget what kind of insufferable piss baby he’d been the first time around here!
Zombie nods yet again.
ZombieSounds about right.
A shudder passes over her at the thought of what Chris Mosh wanted most.
ZombieI think I’m gonna be fucking sick!
Bandit looks back up at Zombie and shrugs apologetically.
BanditShould I move since I’m a damn smurf that would probably be kind of nasty…
Zombie raises a hand to tell her she’s fine and Bandit nods, turning back to the camera.
BanditI mean, not as nasty as having to deal with Chris Mosh naked, but…
Zombie gags and Bandit almost laughs.
ZombieGoddammit! I had something I wanted to hit on, but now? About to go all Rabbit here and lose Mom’s spaghetti. I sadly fought Mosh twice in singles matches, and I think he was in the Vomit Rumble match back at the beginning? Mosh should be looking forward to this match for one reason only. This time, there might ACTUALLY be people in the crowd, unlike that EWC match. Sorry, just wanted to throw that in there. Continue.
Bandit nods to her with a look of “are you sure? Well okay then” before she continues on.
BanditWhich is where I almost feel bad for Emily Falls. Here the poor girl turned her back on everything she stood for to join the Coven. She got basically nothing out of it, they barely ever treat her like she’s part of the group and now she’s stuck teaming with somebody that if she stops short in front of him, we’re gonna need a defib machine to save him from the heart attack he’ll have from being that close to a woman that was not actively trying to swat him away like the annoying gnat that he is!
ZombieWasn’t it just a couple of pay-per-views back they were fighting each other?
Bandit nods affirmatively.
BanditYeah, to say nothing of competing to be the face of Ammo right next to Ripley!
ZombieThe only thing Mosh should be the face of is a missing poster on a milk carton. Em, I feel for the kid. She drank the Jansen Kool-Aid, joined the Coven, and… poof, nothing. She coulda been a pretender… wait, contender. Nope, got it right the first time with Falls.
BanditAnd now they have to team up to take on us, which, granted, we’ve never teamed before either but, it tends to work out pretty well for me…
ZombieWell, we DID have that training with the Kenyons. AND we kinda beat up Taza and Essie, though to Essie’s credit, she caught me pretty good. Then Val gave me shit, and well. But we’re good.
Bandit smirks.
BanditTaza hit me almost like her sister. Not bad for a rookie, which is what I think Mosh and Falls are going to need to remember here. We’re not rookies. We’re by God champions in this bitch! I’ve been one half of the tag team champions so long, they might as well change the name to the Bandit Championships at this point while you walked into this company, buried Tyke Index’s ass and then made “Our Savior” look like she was Donald Trump in a wind tunnel!
ZombieDid you really have to bring up the Cheeto-In-Chief?
Bandit shrugs almost playfully.
BanditWould it be me if I didn’t?
She pauses to nod to the camera.
BanditBesides, tell me she didn’t look that hysterically hilarious when you got done with her?
ZombieOk, yes, but this is twice now that you tried to make me hurl. Be careful.
Bandit shrugs again.
BanditWell that did used to be Emily’s gimmick, I was just trying to make you feel prepared!
Zombie looks at Bandit, confused for a minute, before putting her in a headlock.
ZombieHey, I supposedly turned on one partner. Careful, short stuff.
BanditI’m not worried, this isn’t the Purge and we’re not fighting people that can do that to us. This is the Shieldmaidens in Mile High and we have each other’s backs. We all ride or die and that is something that neither Emily nor Mosh know a damn thing about! We are coming to Myrrhder She Wrote to remind these people just who the fuck we are!
Bandit stands up as Zombie releases her.
BanditHell is empty…
Zombie...and the Shieldmaidens are… coming to the O2 Arena in London, England, for Myrrhder She Wrote, this coming Sunday ONLY on pay-per-view!
Bandit snaps her head around looking at Zombie, who looks back at her sheepishly.
ZombieWhat? Too much?
