The Purge vs Mosh and Anastasia

Bras d’Or
New Orleans, LA
October 5th, 2021
OFF-Camera

We open with a table littered with empty beer pitchers and mugs, a plate of chicken bones in the middle. As a waitress comes by to clear the table, we can see a fairly inebriated Wendy “Zombie” Pellegrini leaning in her booth. She sits up again as Charlie “Maneater” Jennings staggers over with a tray with another pitcher of beer and six shot glasses filled with clear liquid. She sets the tray down on the now-clean table and slides into the booth beside Wendy.

“Hey, hey, we’re still celebrating here!”
“What are we celebrating again? My demotion or the fact I have Hannibal Ohio fucking with my head?”
“Don’t think of it as a demotion. We’re all on the same team here. Harry’s on a streak and good on her. Let her ride it out. You and I get to be partners again. Just like the old days.”
“The old days, huh? Alright, let’s toast to the old days…”

The two lift up their shot glasses, and Maneater slams hers down with no effect. Zombie shoots her back and starts convulsing.

“The fuck? Tequila?”
“Yeah!”
“Damn, trying to kill me?”
“No, trying to loosen you up.”

Zombie shudders again, her head drooping. Suddenly, she lifts her head again, wagging a finger.

“Hey, you remember the last time they let the two of us loose?”
“If the statute of limitation has passed, I’ll say yes. I seem to recall not everything that happened was you… on the job.”
“I was only supposed to pretend. Fucking Bosco…”
“He was the only one who knew where Poggione was. He was holding all the cards and we both knew it.”
“He tested me. That party…”
“The one that turned into…”

Wendy slowly nods.

“I was married… to a man… I’d never done that before.”

Maneater sobers up a little and blinks a few times.

“Never? Could have fooled me.”
“Heroin may have helped that. Fuck I was so sick the next day.”
“Never did that either, huh?”

Wendy slowly shakes her head no before emptying her mug.

“Never did it again either. Fucking thought about it after… after Thomas.”
“That wasn’t your fault.”
“No. He beat me, he… he beat her too. I’ve had to lie for years about that. He took her from me.”
“And we took care of him. He can’t hurt anyone else.”
“Tony got me a good lawyer. Thing is, guys like Ohio… Cain… they remind me of him. I don’t know how long I can keep the facade, but Ceej, I don’t want to fight them. I want to gun them down.”

Maneater pushes a shot in front of Zombie.

“Shoot that instead.”

Zombie takes the shot and convulses again.

“I thought that shit gets smoother the more you drink it.”
“You were always a slouch when it came to booze.”
“Hey… thank you.”
“Ain’t the first time, likely not the last. Shit, I even came to LA with you after the precinct transferred you.”

Wendy half-smiles and chuckles.

“Couldn’t get enough of me?”

Wendy holds up two fingers in a peace sign before flicking her tongue between them. Maneater lets out a raucous laugh and slaps the table.

“There she is.”
“We had some good times, didn’t we? I’m glad you’re back.”
“Did I ever tell you about Chicago and how I actually met Una?”
“No. Did you fuck her too? She definitely needs it, girl’s got a stick up her ass.”

Maneater laughs again and reaches over and hugs Zombie. Zombie pours another mug of beer and tops up Maneater’s as well.

“No, I didn’t fuck her. I knew she was in Chicago because of her boyfriend and NFW were in town, and I knew she was your manager. I didn’t want to give up that piece of information off the bat, but I told her I wanted to join you guys and surprise you. Then, well, shit came out over social media and here we are.”
“Now, see, THAT is cause for celebration.”

The two lift and clink their mugs and down them quickly. Wendy eyes her last shot but decides to fill the mugs instead.

“Look at us now. Fucking Shieldmaidens.”
“No we’re not.”

Maneater looks at Zombie crooked.

“Yeah we are. You were there when I got patched in.”
“That’s… that’s not what I mean. We’re not FUCKING Shieldmaidens.”

Zombie falls out of the booth, laughing. She gets up off the floor, and Maneater extends her hand to pull her up back inside the booth.

“Well, I kinda am. Zoya’s a Prospect.”
“She’s cute. Almost as cute as Lexa.”
“Don’t you start that.”
“Start what?”
“Remember the night at the Whisky?”

Wendy squints as she looks at Maneater, like she’s trying to remember something, before her eyes grow wide before breaking out in laughter again.

“How many came home with us that night?”
“Too many to fit in the bed.”
“That was a fun night. Couldn’t do that now, though.”

Zombie holds up her left hand, showing off her ring.

“Nah, I got selfish over the years. One’s enough for me. Zoya’s tongue ring does wonders…”

Zombie sticks her tongue out, showing off her own piercing.

“Lexa ain’t complaining either. Speaking of our better halves, we should probably go home…”
“We still have a shot each, we can’t waste them.”
“Okay… to us. Two desperados back in the saddle again.”
“I’ll drink to that.”

The two shoot back their last shot and this time, Zombie doesn’t flinch. Maneater beams wide as she gets up from the booth.

“Gonna make you a tequila girl yet.”
“Ain’t there a song about tequila and girl’s clothes falling off?”
“Mighta been a crunchy song.”
“Yeah. Just make sure you keep yours on, alright? We don’t need you pole-dancing right now. Besides, I think they’ve been waiting for us to leave so they can close the place.”
“Oh shit, alright let’s get out of here.”
“Hey, just remember which bed is yours, alright?”
“Maybe Lexa would want a taste of a new watermelon sugar.”

Wendy sways as she shakes her head.

“I’m going to tell Zoya you said that.”
“Bitch.”
“I love you too. Let’s get outta here.”

***

The Highlands - Louisville, Kentucky
October 8th, 2021
ON-camera

Wendy “Zombie” Pellegrini and Charlie “Maneater” Jennings stand in front of a large mural that says ‘Weird, Independent & Proud’ as Shieldmaiden Prospect Zoya “Drago” Dragojević mans the camera for them. They are dressed in their Shieldmaiden kuttes and all-black outfits with their gas masks on their heads instead of on their faces, Zombie leaned back against the wall with her arms crossed.

“Louisville, we are in you. Tonight, Wendy and I, along with Reina and our Chief Katrina, will be competing in an eight-person match against Chris Mosh, Anastasia Baudelaire, and The Exes. Tickets are still available for that, so come on out and watch the most dominant stable in Mile High history beat the holy stuffings out of them.”

Zombie looks over at Maneater, not moving from her position on the wall.

“Did… did you just say ‘holy stuffings’?”
“Probably, yeah. Why?”
“Because you went from saying we’re the most dominant stable to using the term ‘holy stuffings’. What’s next, you going to say ‘sufferin’ succotash’ next?”

Maneater gives Zombie a confused look.

“Why would I say that?”
“The same reason you’d say holy stuffings. I don’t know why, but it wouldn’t surprise me.”
“Hey, this is technically my first promo.”
“And you’re lucky we only have Mosh and Baudelaire to worry about.”
“Oh yeah, who was yours?”
“Tyke Index.”

Maneater is about to retort, then stops herself.

“Then why am I doing the talking for this promo?”
“Because everybody needs to cut their teeth, and I thought you enjoyed having firsts in public.”

We can hear Drago laughing from behind the camera, and Maneater tries to give her a dirty look and can’t, before breaking out laughing.

“I hate you so much right now.”
“Good. Use that anger, and talk to the camera. Pretend you’re talking directly to our opponents.”
“I’m not angry with THEM. I, well, I kinda pity them.”
“Pity? The Purge doesn’t ‘pity’ anyone, but for the sake of it, why do you pity them?”

Maneater shakes her head.

“Well, the two of them always talk themselves up, and yet always end up on their backs looking up at the lights. It’s like, you want to believe them but then you look at their win-loss records and it’s like really? I even heard around the locker room that despite all of that, they still call Mosh the VIP.”
“They do, huh?”
“Yep. Very Impotent Pecker.”

Zombie tries not to laugh at Maneater’s joke but the smile on her face gives her away.

“Perhaps that’s why he and Ana are always arguing amongst themselves?”
“Well, if I was with a dude who couldn’t get it up, I’d be pissed too.”
“Okay, we’re getting side-tracked here.”
“Well, no, not really. It kinda reflects on other elements of Mosh as well.”
“Meaning?”
“Well, we were talking about Mosh always talking up a big game, but not being able to perform. You’ve faced him before, you going to tell me I’m wrong?”

Zombie shrugs.

“Alright, fine, you’re not wrong. And you know what, I’m feeling a little angsty lately. I should be standing here with the ThrowDown Title, but instead Trump Lite got over on Bandit. Far as I’m concerned, that title is dead to me as long as Cuckleberry Wright is still holding on to it, though I’ll admit I got a little satisfaction sending his nose into the third row. I’m tired of having to drag my past with me week after week because everybody knows it’s gonna be used against me by everyone else wanting to go over on me.”
“Shit’s all talk, Z. This is a new chapter, and this time, we’re holding the pens and writing our destinies on the pages and…”

Zombie puts a hand over Maneater’s mouth.

“You need work.”

Maneater says something that comes out as a muffled mess before Zombie removes her hand.

“Want to repeat that?”
“I said you’re one to talk seeing how well your season has gone so far.”
“Oh, really?”
“Yeah. What are you going to do about it?”
“I’m going to let you cut the promo by yourself. I’m going to let you fall on your face and say all the stupid things you think should be said, and we’ll see how you do. What do you think of that?”

Zombie puts her gas mask on and leans back against the wall and closes her eyes, arms crossed in front of her again. Maneater watches Zombie, shaking her head in disbelief, before looking back at the camera.

“Great, guess I can’t say at least we’re on the same page unlike them now. Well, fuck… um, I have nothing. Wait, I could channel my inner Una. Um, okay…”

Maneater shakes her arms as she closes her eyes, doing a slow jog in place. She opens her eyes again, seemingly more confident now.

“Mile High, you are looking at greatness. Two of the meanest and biggest competitors together taking on the company’s job squad. Now, I could stand here and say it is an injustice considering our standing in the company, but instead I will stand here and say it is an opportunity. An opportunity to remind the Mile High faithful, management, heck an opportunity to show the WORLD what dominance and greatness truly are. You see, The Purge as a whole are worth more than the individual parts, and those individual parts have proven to be priceless. You look at their humble beginnings back in the WWA where Zombie and Hairicin quickly established themselves as a dominant team and carried the tag team gold. Near the end of the company’s run, individually, they are in position to be the top two champions. Returning to Mile High, they continued where they left, reasserting their dominance. Now, while Zombie here may not have the wins to show for it, she has constantly been a contender. Hairicin became a breakout sensation after years of being under the learning tree that I find myself sitting under now.

Mosh, how many favors are you going to beg for before it sinks in that you are simply not good enough? These constant demands for preferential treatment are frankly getting ridiculous when the Macks’ return on investment is nil. They LOSE money every time they put you on the cards, and it makes the rest of the roster step up to cover those losses. And Baudelaire, another one who makes excuses for her shortcomings, but not once have I heard you make excuses for the botch job that is your face. I mean, you are a beard away from singing The Gambler at county fairs with how often you’ve gone under the knife. And come ThrowDown in Orlando, you’ll need to go under the knife yet again to surgically remove Chris Mosh’s head from your ass!”

Maneater gets fired up and flexes. As Zombie is about to applaud, their manager Una Quinn arrives, looks at the camera, and then back at Maneater.

“You need work.”

The three laugh before Drago turns off the camera, ending the promo.