The scene opens up in the gym of the Queendom’s household. Mighty J Jed Coffey is pacing back and forth as he has his phone to his ear.
Jed Coffey: No. Charly, I’m telling you. Don’t come here. It was a one night contest. You are not a member of the Queendom.
Visibly frustrated, Jed just rolls his eyes as he lets out a long breath of air.
Jed Coffey: Leah is not here right now, ya Schmuck. Just leave it alone. It’s dead. Your presence is unwanted.
Coffey ends the call and shakes his head in frustration. He then makes his way over to a weight machine and starts doing lat pull downs. He’s interrupted by his phone ringing once again. Irritated, Jed gets up from the machine and throws his phone against the wall. As he turns around, he sees a camera facing him.
Jed Coffey: Oh, hey. I know you. I didn’t know you were here. How are you doing my beeshes and booshes? Mighty J is just getting his swole on. What might you be doing right now? Shoving empty calories and boozing it up I presume. What can I say? It’s very expected of you. Mighty J runs a bit different than all of you. I’m like a well oiled machine. Every morning I wake up, take some fish oil supplements along with the nectar of the gods, coffee. I head on over and whip myself up some egg whites and spinach with a little salsa on top. Take a handful of blueberries for antioxidants. Then you know what I do? I GO TO THE FUCKING GYM!!! Mighty J visits the pound town any chance he gets whether I’m smashing plates like a gorilla or going into an active state of recovery with a little bit of yoga. When I’m done, I like to grab some grass fed beef, cook it up inside some broccoli slaw and slather it in some Franks Red Hot. Maybe I’ll do another sesh. Maybe I’ll call up Diaz for a little one on one time. Maybe I’ll read a book. You got to remember all my beeshes and booshes out there that mental strength is just as good as physical strength. After that we’ll delve into some chicken breast and a delicious sweet potato. Getting hungry yet? I know I am. You must be cognizant of what you put in your body each and every day. Your body is a temple. Treat it as such. Don’t be a Schmuck. Be like Mighty J.
Coffey pauses to highlight his upper body and abs.
Jed Coffey: One such Schmuck that does not treat his body like a temple is the “Man like Skrabz.” You know, each and every time I see this guy it makes me sick to my stomach. Let’s run through a typical day in the like of Skrabal Stanzas should we? Wake up around noon… let’s be realistic. It’s like two in the afternoon. Head banging from whatever poison he filled his body with from the night/morning. No alarm, no discipline. Just whenever he wakes up because the garbage he fills his body with is making him have the shits. Probably washes his stank breath with a swig of Skol Vodka and downs a couple pills just to numb the pain of his hangover. Then he takes a hit from his blunt or purple sticky punch or whatever the kids are calling it these days. He gets the munchies but realizes that it’s well past 10:30am so he can’t get McDonalds breakfast. Instead, the pathetic Schmuck goes on Uber Eats and orders up some of the most unhealthy byproducts he can find. Maybe it’s his “healthy” day. Maybe he’ll order some Subway. Please, don’t get me started on that. The bread is banned in most areas because it’s 48% sugar. The tuna has been found to have little to no tuna in it. You know, come to think of it, why is Subway still around after all this? Because they have some celebrity hocking their product. It’s despicable. Anyways, I digress. This Schmuck shovels more poison down his gullet, smokes more weed and proceeds to wash it down with some purple drank. After that he incoherently sits on his sofa coming up with “rhymes” that don’t even make sense. I’d be remiss if he didn’t have a bar that rhymed see with sea. This goes on for several hours, probably passes out two or three times between playing Playstation, or worse. He could be an X-Box fan. He then caps off his evening by ordering up some hookers and doing blow until the wee hours of the morning but only if they bring a smorgasbord of White Castle and Taco Bell. Am I right, blud? Does this sound like your Schmucky ways? It’s quite pathetic if you ask me. When do you find time to make it to the gym?
Coffey just shakes his head in disappointment.
Jed Coffey: I’m sure there had to be a point in your life when you weren’t such a Schmuck and instead took care of yourself. You were a “Man Like Skrabz” remember, Blud. You were the cock of the walk but then it seems you met your Kryptonite in Gabriel Ohio. Not so fancy anymore are you, Blud. You see, Mighty J has the body of a champion. This is what the masses look for in a professional wrestler and… oh wait, I am that champion. One half of the MHW Tag Team Champions to be exact. There isn’t a team in Mile High Wrestling that can contend with the Second City Riot Squad. We’ve taken out the Wild Hunt time and time again until one of them lost their smile and high tailed it. We put the Streets or whatever the hell they call themselves down just the same. Hell, if the Brix City Boyz were still around, Diaz and I would Smash Em Up just like the Schmucks they are. Instead, you’ll just have to suffice, Blud. You’ve stuck your nose in the Queendom’s business for far too long. If it weren’t for the fact that I have conditioned my neck to be so strong you’d probably have broken it with the amount of times you’ve assaulted me with your Mic Check.
Coffey reaches for his neck.
Jed Coffey: That’s a funny word isn’t it? Assault. Time and time again you’ve attacked us from behind and to what end? Can you not meet us face to face, Blud? Do you aim to weaken the opposition ahead of battle because you’re scared to face any of us at full strength? That would make you the Schmuckiest Schmuck this side of Schmuck Town, Blud. This weekend, you’re the one that’s going to be softened up, Ya Schmuck. I’m going to soften you up for our Queen and she can pick the flesh from your bones. Better yet, I don’t recommend that. Your diet has got to be so unhealthy that I’d imagine your flesh does not taste good at all. I never really understood that metaphor but whatever. Listen up, Blud. You will kneel before the Queen and accept your role in the hierarchy. The Era of the War Queen blazes on and not like one of your blunts that inevitably dies out either. I’ll see you on Sunday but until then I have more pressing matters, Ya Schmuck. I need to get a new phone now.
Jed turns around from the camera and that’s when he sees Charly Santos standing in the doorway.
Jed Coffey: God damn it, Charly. Get the fuck out. You’re not welcome here. What are you? A leech. The Queendom does not want you hanging on.
As Coffey continues to verbally berate the woman, the scene comes to an end.
Skrabal looks into the camera as the video begins. He takes a breath and goes to speak but holds his tongue, choosing instead to take a deep toke on the joint burning in his hand.
"Ya nah I ain't ever been prone to hallucinations... but for real I thought I was trippin' for a second back in that McCamish Pavillion, out there in Atlanta... shit I like Atlanta, Atlanta the kinda place I could stay at home in."
He smiles subtly, knowingly, remembering his time in Atlanta.
"But yeah I ain't ever imagined tings before, man has never seen nor heard tings."
He takes another toke on his joint, his eyes darting around the room but coming back to settle on the camera as he speaks.
"But still I couldn't believe my eyes an' ears fam, straight up, had myself feelin' to go get one a those psychological evaluations. Coz I was sittin' back, these big feeta mine up, relaxed, eyes dead set watchin' that big El Dee-Bullet ting an' towards the end there man thought he was losin' it for real. But nah, it weren't no hallucination fam, it weren't no figment of man's imagination. The shit was real life, kinda. Jansen Myrrh done shown her face, kinda. She pon the screen innit, not in the buildin' but still it half count. She run her mouth as usual, chattin' that gas, but she say one ting that ring true."
He reaches for a bottle of beer from the box beside the plum coloured sofa on which he sits.
"What she say though?"
He twists the lid of the bottle.
"Nuttin' new fam, she said the shit before."
He takes a quick drink from the bottle.
"She say fuck that guy."
He looks at the camera, his eyebrows raised.
"Ya know who she talkin' about, right?"
He continues looking at the camera with his eyebrows raised.
"Me innit, man like Skrabz."
He smiles smugly then takes another drink of beer.
"So how she right?"
He finishes his beer and drops the bottle on the floor.
"It be real simple innit. Man like Skrabz still be an' always has been That Guy so it be real good to hear her addressin' me wit' the respect I deserve."
He laughs slightly, arrogantly.
"Nah, on the level though, ya done know it's fuck you too innit. Always will be... An' if you know what's good for ya, you'll hit ya lil one an' done then run back to En Ef Dub, keep playin' the star you claim to be but most important of all you'll keep mans name outcha mouth from here on out. Coz if not, fam you might not make it back, shit you carry on wit' that nonsense an' foolishness an' come Black Magic you might not even make it out the buildin'."
He keeps his cold eyes set on the camera as he takes another deep toke on his joint. He exhales a cloud of smoke and continues.
"But it do be true though, that ting you said... I do be that guy."
Arrogance oozes from his every pore as his stare lingers on the camera. He smiles smugly before continuing on.
"Ya nah I can say it all day long too, shit I been sayin' it for years... We all say it though, we s'posed to anyway, it come wit' the job description. Dif'rence is I been provin' it too. I nah what they gonna say though, same shit they stay sayin' from here on out, they gonna say yeah but Ohio..."
He shakes his head. His voice takes on a whiny, high pitched tone as he continues mockingly.
He looks into the camera, his face a portrait of apathy.
"You gettin' it all twisted fam, coz seen when you mention the times I held the L all you really do is highlight how often I caught the dub coz you can name my losses fam, individually, shit you can count the people who caught the dub on me, one on one, on one hand an' still have two fingers spare to stick straight up ya backside...But when it come to the rest of 'em."
He hold he hands in front of him, one by one he extends each finger rapidly, as if counting on them. He does this twice, reaching a total of twenty but strongly implying many more.
"Shit if I'ma start countin' 'em I'ma be here all night."
He leans down the side of the sofa for another bottle of beer and twists the lid off then takes a good, long drink before continuing.
"But man like Skrabz do be That Guy. Yeah he be that guy who dealt wit' Azzy in less than a minute but shit that ain't sayin' much these days, Wavy had the shit summed up correc' when he called her food coz she ain't nuttin' but a light snack. But I do be That Guy, yeah I be that guy that dropped Ohio, the ghostly white hope, right on his pencil neck outta nowhere, like BAM!. I be that guy that had the War Queen backin' down, optin' for peace, until she had her boy there Coffey by her side. But even then I be that guy who took out The Queendom on his ones... and fam that was all jus' one night at work. It go back a lot further than that. I be that guy that was here from the start. I be that guy that saw 'em comin' an' watched 'em leave. I be that guy that ran Lance Mikes outta the bidiness outta fear alone wit'out so much as a bell ringin'. I be that guy who clawed his way up from the grease an' the grime to the heat an' the shine an' then went straight back to the crud when he was done. I be that guy that had vet'rans breakin' frame pon the socials, throwin' away they legacy beggin' 'em to take the strap off me, an' why? Coz I be that guy who held the game captive for two years straight. I be that guy they expect to beat 'em! I be that guy..."
"Watch the scene through a sniper scope
My sight locked steady pon they vital zones
...Cause 'em all types a cope
So dope I be givin' all they idols hope!"
"Yeah I be ya favourites rapper's favourite rapper, ya favourite fighter's favourite fighter, shit I ain't even got a car an' I prolly be ya favourite driver's favourite driver!"
He laughs again, as arrogant as ever, before greedily drinking the rest of his second beer and dropping the empty bottle on the floor.
"But shit, despite how it might feel, look, sound an' seem man like Skrabz ain't perfect. Man has done made a mistake or two in his time. To be real witchu I made one in recent memory, jus' a couple weeks back, out there in Atlanta. I know ya seen it, I was about half an' inch away from kissin' her boot an' then BAM! The War Queen was out. Next ting it was Diaz gettin' caught up in that Snare Clap an' then I did it blad, then I fucked up... I been sayin' that one day I'ma reach out and snatch the strap an' there it was, right there pon the mat... It was instinctive fam, that shit mine, it be the only ting I care about an' when I seen it lying pon the floor I picked the shit up."
He shakes his head, a hint of regret present in his body language.
"I made a mistake."
He sits silently, smoking his joint until it's gone. He throws the roach on the floor and immediately reaches for another joint from somewhere just out of the shot.
"I'ma be real witchu... I shouldn'ta touched. I shoulda left it been... Coz the shit gettin' me all kindsa fucked up. I can't think about nuttin' else. I can't eat, I can't sleep. I ain't washed these hands yet. That's disgustin' innit... But I can still smell it on 'em. I can still see the shine in my eyes. I can feel the gold pon my finger tips. That shit feel good to the touch, fam it even feel good when that War Queen done rattled my skull wit' it'. That be jus' what I needed, one shot straight to the dome to remind me what I been missin'... Then I held it tight in these slime flingin' fingers an' the euphoria hit. Time slowed down an' man was caught in the moment, the shit felt like an eternity but that's when I noticed it. The dirty undertone, tainted, like the shit been stepped on an' cut wit' suttin' synthetic. It was missin' suttin', not much, jus' a few lil words a pureness."
He pauses and lights his joint, inhaling deeply.
"What those words be though?"
He pauses again, his eyes cocky stare locked on the camera as he takes another long toke on his joint.
"Shit, you already know."
He smiles confidently.
"Winner an' NEW Mi' High Wrestlin' Ultimate Ch... Coz jus' holdin it ain't enough blad, I needsta hear those words along wit' it an' I ain't have long to wait coz it be jus' a matter a time until those words ring out."
He reaches down the side of plum sofa for another bottle of beer, his third, and twists the top off before continuing.
"But there still be some time to go, an' there still somebody else in my way before we get to the big strap. Who it be though?... Jed Coffey, Mighty J himself. He one half a the tag team champions, one third a The Queendom an' on his best day he about one quarter a man like Skrabz. But shit I'd be frontin' if I ain't say he played a lil part in switchin' up the tag shit, got dragged right on into Bandit's playground an' took the shit over wit' that there Layla. She kinda fine fam I ain't gonna lie. Now I ain't know if you gettin yaself some a that or not but if you ain't I jus' about lost the lil bitta repect I had left for ya, an' it weren't a lot to begin wit' plus it been in decline ever since that tiktok clout you been chasin' a while back, wit' ya milkcrate challenge bullshit. Fam I got a challenge for ya, how about you try for one night not to be the biggest bitch in a clique that's two thirds chicks? For real, I ain't know how you walk out here surrounded by pussy an' still manage to be the most effeminate one in the bunch. It gotta be that hair you rockin'... Well I guess it be kinda fittin' that you nex' in line to catch the fade."
He pauses, confidence radiating from his core and filling the room as he drinks from his bottle of beer.
"Out here talkin' about mans diet... Fam I eat wrestlers, straight up. Men like me eat men like you on they way to meal an' I stay secure enough to say shit wit' no pause.... We dif'rent breeds an' this ain't no tag team shit fam, ain't no Layla pon the apron to tag you out an' back you up when it get tough, an' true say the shit gonna start tough from the second the bell ring. That's how I does it, shit there ain't even have to be a bell. I let it be known from the off that if man like Skrabz in the buildin' ain't a single one of 'em safe. I ain't give a shit if I have to hit 'em from the front, back or side, from up above or down below, I'ma do to it to 'em before they do it to me.... An' it ain't just talk fam, it ain't jus' words. It's straight facts, true stories. Jed, ya done found that out a time or two more already an' you about to find out again come Throwdown. Coz you the last stop on man's road back to the top an' I ain't about to ease off or slow down yet. If what Ohio done did ain't stop me then you dizzy as fuck if ya think you about to. Coz fuck dif'rent breeds fam, me an' you dif'rent species, we spawned from dif'rent eras. Man like Skrabz got that old school work ethic, he got that get it no matter how long it takes an' fuck how they feel about it mindset. You on that get it quick shit an' hope they like ya for it. That be why you out there chasin' views pon the socials, hoppin' on the nex' craze an' I ain't do nuttin' but show up to work. Well shit, you wanna go viral so bad how about nex' time I show up to work you pull out ya lil phone there an' we can live stream you gettin' your backside whooped pon any social network you choose."
He finishes his third beer and again drops the empty bottle on the floor.
"But for real you make me sick. I be embarrassed to do the same job as ya. You the kinda man to sell his soul for his fifteen minutes where man like Skrabz work e'ry day to save his. I ain't have to turn it on, I wake up up ready an' when I walk through the door at whatever grubby grease drippin' place I call home for the night I know I spent the day doin' me. When you walk through the door after a long day pretendin' to be somebody you ain't, you spend your night worryin' about who you expected to be tomorrow."
He looks into the camera with contempt on his face.
"Well come Throwdown you expected you to be a body."
He pauses. His stare still locked firmly onto the camera.
"An' a body be exactly what I'ma make ya. "
He takes another deep toke on his joint, still maintaining eye contact with the camera, and as he exhales a cloud of smoke the video cuts ends.
Admin: Note that the deadlines have changed. I made the change for the convenience of the other judges.
May 17, 2021 15:21:30 GMT -6
Admin: Hope everyone is enjoying their 4th of July weekend/week/day! 💪💯💯
Jul 4, 2021 14:22:58 GMT -6
Admin: Where do yall hist photos? I'm thinking about switching sites, because I'm paying a monthly subscription for Photobucket and they got watermarks back on my images. I'm guessing it's a glitch or something, but it's already been two days.
Aug 7, 2021 6:56:18 GMT -6
The Purge: I use Imgur - and I've never paid a cent for their services, and no water marks
Aug 7, 2021 8:48:13 GMT -6
Deleted: o.o Lord, Rob! Get away from Photobucket ASAP! I’m with Haircin — use Imgur. It’s way better and costs nothing.
Aug 8, 2021 16:28:35 GMT -6
Admin: I appreciate yall! ✊💯💯 Ima look into it this week. Apologies to everyone if some of the images for the show tonight have that Photobucket watermark. I didn't have the time today obviously to make any switches. But I will make time this week. 💯💯
Aug 8, 2021 17:43:04 GMT -6
Admin: Katrina will probably be happy too as she was just telling me I was crazy for paying monthly for a photo host. Lol.
Aug 8, 2021 17:44:00 GMT -6
Admin: ***NOTE*** I moved the deadline up 12 hours to give the judges an extra day to read over the rps.
Aug 10, 2021 15:29:37 GMT -6
Admin: Started messing with Imgur today and confirmed to myself that Imgur was the original photo host I was using for Season One and the beginning of Season Two of MHW. Something made me mad and thats when I switched to Photobucket. I don't remember what though.
Aug 12, 2021 16:08:47 GMT -6
Admin: Ima still switch back to it though, because the Photobucker watermarks are still showing up on some images.
Aug 12, 2021 16:09:19 GMT -6
Admin: ***Just A Reminder*** The new deadline is less than 24 hours away. 💪💯💯
Aug 20, 2021 9:45:58 GMT -6
cmosh: Marisol Vilaró is Spanish, she is from Spain
Sept 14, 2021 22:50:17 GMT -6
Admin: Noted 💪💯💯 So I can get Rrina to teach me how to pronounce her name.
Sept 15, 2021 15:35:32 GMT -6
cmosh: Don't worry I don't know how to pronounce it either. She is actually played by someone else, so it is sometimes hard to do RP's with them due to our work schelduce but I am alound to use the character over here
Sept 15, 2021 19:28:12 GMT -6
Admin: Trying something different with the match writing, based off of research and just to try something new. It's a hit or miss concept, so feedback would be appreciated. ThrowDown will also debut the new layout concept. AMMO will start with that new layout...
Sept 18, 2021 8:35:55 GMT -6
Admin: ...on the following AMMO. This AMMO will just have the new match writing idea.
Sept 18, 2021 8:36:32 GMT -6
cmosh: I want to apologize to everyone for not doing a rp this week. Just been a tough week at work and other things got in the way as well, again I'm really sorry for not rping this week
Sept 18, 2021 21:07:43 GMT -6
Admin: It happens, brudda!
Sept 19, 2021 19:49:09 GMT -6