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Post by Admin on Aug 23, 2018 14:07:03 GMT -6
 ♕ Steel Cage Match ♕
Azurine Vebbins vs TammaraRoleplay Limit: 2 Roleplay Deadline: Thursday, August 30, 2018 @ 2AM Central Time |
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Post by Admin on Aug 27, 2018 10:10:57 GMT -6
Tammara sat at her computer desk, laptop opened, listening to Episode 10 of Coke Mountain. She sucked on a red, white, and blue popsicle, lips shiny. Wavy Crockett stood behind her, massaging her massive shoulders. This was life outside of work.
Wavy Crockett: Why you listen to this dude? I can't even understand what he's saying.
Tammara: Because you dumb, David.
Wavy stops massaging her for a minute, rolling his eyes.
Wavy Crockett: Where he from, anyways?
Tammara: I don't know. Somewhere cross the ocean...
Wavy Crockett: I'm tryna get in your ocean....
Tammara: I'm not in the mood...
Wavy breathes out hard.
Wavy Crockett: You never are...
Wavy leaves the room, frustrated. Tammara just continues to focus on the voice of Chris Kelman.
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Azurine Vebbins.
The Adorkable Angel.
The Damsel In Dat Dress.
The ThrowDown Champion.
The Biggest Fucking Slut In Wrestling History.
You wanna get on Twitter everyday trying make these people believe you ain't a ho?
Bitch, you a ho.
Just like my husband....
And you can try to get these people to believe you're not, all you want. You can try to get them to even believe you just into women. But the lie detector says that's a lie!
I was snooping through David's phone, and I saw him telling his homeboy "she gives the best head".
Bitch, I know he was talking boutchu.
I see how he act on the commentary shit, everytime your bitch ass comes out. Ass all hanging out them wrestling shorts.
You dress like a ho. You dance like a ho. You act like a ho. You talk like a ho. You look like a ho. You cut promos like a ho. Hell, you wrestle like a ho.
And at Good Time, you gon get beat all into that Steel Cage.......like a HO.
So skank your way to the ring, bitch. Put them hands up, and get dropped like you ain't never been shit.
You the ThrowDown Champion, and ho.....we bout to throwdown.
See you in a few days......bitch.
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Post by azurinevebbins on Aug 27, 2018 12:42:44 GMT -6
National Kiss And Make Up Day
[The following promotional material was recorded on Saturday, August 25th, 2018. “The Adorkable Angel” Azurine Vebbins tries being cheerful in her girlfriend’s hotel room. Last night, “The Heart of Infinity” Alyssa Daniels did not walk away with her company’s championship in tow. Instead, the match was ruled a No Contest when a non-competing grappler interfered. Thankfully, she’s getting her rematch against the champion and the interferer at a later event. Only major difference between today’s presentation and previous ones is that Vebbins is cradling her newly-won Mile High Wrestling Throwdown Championship.]
Azurine Vebbins: Tallyho from Toronto, folk! Happy National Kiss and Make Up Day. Celebrated da first part wid my sweet-heart earlier dis mornin’. As for da second part? Dat’s my reason for dis promotional material. Yes, chanters, “Da Adorkable Angel” is makin’ up wid da Mile High DrowDown Championship. Knew Hamilton was goin’ to collide wid an “orbit of obliteration” dis past Dursday night. Did not expect it would be my Good Time opponent Tammara Cornett. While recognizin’ Mile High Wrestling does not revolve ’round me...I’m still feelin’ da gravity from what transpired. Been cradlin’ dis title every few hours like a nestlin’ newborn. Apt comparison since so many people want to hold it and wish dey had one. Still, as of August 23rd, 2018…“Da Damsel in Dis Dress” Azurine Vebbins is your current, albeit controversial, DrowDown Champion. Totes controversial.
Been scramblin’ like eggs in an omelette over how to address da controversy. Well, for starters, I initially called it da “Toss-Away Title.” Reasons for believin’ dis? A. It was won in an Over-Da-Top Rope Battle Royal. 2. I felt Samanda would trash it once da opportunity for a more prestigious prize presented itself. C. Sounded like a Shieldmaiden prop for a future photo op. Concerns were also raised when statin’ dat if anyone needed to send a message my way, it was Hamilton. Sayin’ dis caused our Phoenix Champion Alex “Bullet” Carbajal to suggest me facin’ “Da Titaness” for da DrowDown Championship. Da two of dem wanted me to have a clean sweep of losses durin’ title matches.
Before Dursday, I fervently felt our rivalry did not require some-din’ tangible to be fought over. In my second promotional material, I told Samanda she could defend it “ad infinitum.” Could not fad-om a sin’le soul, let alone myself, defeatin’ Hamilton when her presumptive property was on da line. Every defense sounded similar to obligations dan any-din’ else. My perception shifted when realizin’ she couldn’t trash it. Dis “Rose-Colored Lass” standin’ before you caused her reign to kick da proverbial bucket. Plus, it most certainly couldn’t be used as a prop for a Shieldmaiden photo op now. Who amongst dem would want it after bein’ slung over my shoulder or presented as a waist halo? Time will tell when I’m defendin’.
Speakin’ of defendin’, I am bein’ locked inside a fifteen-foot-high Steel Cage wid Tammara. My cleid-ro-phobia senses are tin’lin’. Aye, yea, aye it’s da IRRATIONAL fear of bein’ trapped, but it’s fear none da less. Den again, fear can be viewed as a powerful motivator when harnessed correctly. Helped me sidestep her once when she plowed into dat box of electrical controls. Difference is dat in New Orleans her momentum will get super-charged. Amplified, even. Still, if she’s delusional to believe I’m schtuppin’ Wavy, den deyr may not be anoder sensible way to settle din’s. Glad I’m doin’ some indoor rock climbin’ over at Da Cave in Mississauga. Need to be prepared to ascend da steel cage fencin’ when or more likely if I can knock down Tammara for a few minutes.
Heard a rumor dat Miss Mack may have welded da door shut believin’ I’d crawl out. Hope she does, actually, ’cause much like my gimmick...I fully plan on goin’ over-da-top. Might even try to High Angle Body Press “David” on da way down. It’s da best way to absorb da impact should I accidentally break da commentary table. Can argue many din’s, but science isn’t one of dem.
Only din’ is dat I may have to modify is my patented Pearly Gatekeeper for someone of Cornett’s corpulence. Might have to forego da Dragon Suplex part and just hit her square wid da Double-Handed Jawbreaker. Yes, just need to hit square like a PlayStation DualShock Controller.
[“The Adorkable Angel” Azurine Vebbins ends the broadcast transmission before it sounds like she’s over-thinking.]
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Post by azurinevebbins on Aug 28, 2018 19:51:33 GMT -6
Paternal Advice
[“The Adorkable Angel” Azurine Vebbins’ second promotional material begins with her sipping a martini glass worth of merlot. Having not heard any more from Tammara, Wavy’s Cornett’s wife, she decides to pick up her Phoneme Whippersnapper. Scrolling through her contacts Vebbins selects “Dad” as the phone connects her call. On the other line is a neurotic, slightly scatter-brained fellow named Archie Vebbins. The following is their recorded conversation which “Da Damsel in Dis Dress” hopes will inspire Tammara to continue dialogue.]
Azurine Vebbins: Hello, fod-er. Just want to let you know dat I’m recordin’ our conversation for promotional purposes. Didn’t believe quality assurance was da correct terminology.
Archie Vebbins: It wouldn’t be, Azzy. Am disappointed ’bout da alleged hubbub dat you’re schtuppin’ a trumpet player.
Azurine: I’m not, Dad. Trumpet player?
Archie: His last name is Cornett and he’s from New Orleans. Guy’s got some real brass insinuatin’ you and him should duet. Especially given you’re not a horn-blower.
Azurine: DAD!
Archie: I mean didn’t you already have da “Bad Jazz” discussion wid some masked moron way back when?
Azurine: Yes, Dad. He’s not important right now. Also mentioned today how my hands didn’t provide Wavy as I know him, David as my accuser calls him, a deep tissue scalp massage. Den Samanda Hamilton tweeted her dime on da subject. Know our pads will cross again someday like streams flowin’ from a Ghostbuster’s proton pack. Well, dey will cross long as I hold da Mile High Wrestlin’ DrowDown Championship. Den again, deyr’s a long list of contenders and I doubt she’d want to invoke her rematch clause so soon.
Archie: Really tore da place down wid dat Last Woman Standin’ Match. She’s teamin’ up wid da short blonde gal dat beat you twice, isn’t she?
Azurine: Jackie “Bandit” Layton. Yes. Dey are competin’ for da Mile High Wrestlin’ Tag-Team Championships. Shieldmaidens tend to compete under Libertylark Rules.
Archie: Libertylark Rules?
Azurine: Da Lambastic Libertylarks? Glycol “Plastered Scotch” Phrase, “Ram Ram” Rory Forty, and Terrify “Glam Gams” Bargain? None of dose rin’ any bells? Means dey rotate members when da situation calls upon it.
Archie: Phrase, Forty, and Bargain were co-captains of da Soud-ern Phloriphornia University Milkmen Rugby Team. Quite da scrummy lot dose dree. Primitive, primal pummelers dey were. Belonged in steel wrought cages.
Azurine: Funny you mention dat considerin’ I’m facin’ Tammara inside a Steel Cage. On da plus side, I know da Shieldmaidens won’t get involved since who would want to climb into da fracas?
Archie: Don’t you mean foxtrottin’?
Azurine: No, fracas as in quarrel. Foxtrottin’ is what Tammara’s accusin’ me of. Can’t shuffle wid someone who’s got gallopin’ wid gunboats.
Archie: How would you know if you only view him sittin’ down at da commentary table?
Azurine: Caterin’, unfortunately. Stomps down like he’s a real rooster of da runway. Half expect him to unzip his slack and belt out “Release Da Brannock Device!” Dat’s da din’ shoes salespeople put on your feet to get accurate measurements.
Archie: How do you possibly know what dat was called, Azzy?
Azurine: Trivia nights at Da Dungeon get rad-er deep in deyr pools of knowledge, Dad. Still, main reason for da call tonight was to seek advice. Audrey...Mom…
Archie: Cluck-colded me. Yes, she did...wid dat goofy geriatric “Poppa Slams” Slamuel Addergoole McBody. If I had more gumption, I would’ve popped some-din’ else in his marginal mass.
Azurine: Den deyr’s da fact dat I felt I was gettin’...
Archie: Clock-cleaned?
Azurine: Some-din’ like dat wid my first wife. Know now dat it was an elaborate ruse by Mom…
Archie: You can call her Audrey. Not quite sure she’s earned da respect for you to call her Mom recently.
Azurine: But dat it was a set-up to have me marry some schlub, get pregnant, have kids, and clean da house for someone she deemed to be a good guy. Deyrfore, it just seems completely out-of-character for me to get coyly coital wid anoder woman’s affections. Would also jeopardize da tender lovin’ care I receive from my sweet-heart. And before you ask..yes, we’re still datin’ and my first wife’s more happy wid her new girlfriend. Also, I’m fairly certain deyr’s oder words dan da ones you’re usin’, Dad.
Archie: It’s been a long day, Azzy. All da same, how can you possibly compete against someone who’s at least double your size? Only advantage you might have...apart from bein’ a professional wrestler and not a “Most-Time Housewife” like you used to be...is dat you may be able to climb up a cage wall faster dan her. Oder-wise, Good Time could quickly turn into a Bad Time for you.
Azurine: She called me ho eleven times, bleep four times, and some-din’ else vulgar once. It’s goin’ to be a “Bad Time” for her since I plan on shuttin’ da gates containin’ her pearly whites semi-permanently in less dan forty-eight hours. Ham it on a whole wheat bun, Dad, my reputation as a monogamous maiden is in dispute.
Archie: Well, Azzy, you know what needs to happen Dursday. First, you got to face your cleid-ro-phobia by defeatin’ Tammara. Second, you need to kibosh dis un-kosher beef-brain Wavy Cornett. Preferrably, I’d suggest da med-od you talked about in your first promotional material. As we Vebbins folk say...you got dis, Azzy. Now, I’m sorry for cuttin’ dis conversation short, but I got a date wid a new lass wearin’ glasses. Met her at da office today.
[Archie Vebbins ends the conversation before Azurine can say another word. Deep down, she knows her father’s right. Right now, though, she’s sipping some merlot since she won’t be able to imbibe alcohol for the next few days starting tomorrow.]
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