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Post by Admin on May 26, 2019 10:20:56 GMT -6
 Tag Team Match
Sports Entertainment Xpress vs Full ThrottleRoleplay Limit: ONERoleplay Deadline: Sunday, June 9, 2019 @ 2AM Central |
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Post by Deleted on Jun 4, 2019 6:12:52 GMT -6
Star Date: 05142019 The Thunder God Terry Marshall...wait, did he beat Thor? I guess Thor got fat and out of shape while Terry stays jacked and tan, so it is possible. Anyway, Marshall sits on his front porch, high atop a hill that overlooks the city of Huntington. Yeah, I know, the God of Thunder should be on Mount Olympus, but apparently, he likes to stay low key, a man of the people if you will.
Marshall sits on his porch, the crickets chirping is the only noise that can be heard, which is rather peaceful. Marshall tries to sip his tea, sleepy time tea, but oooh watch out, it's still hot. Marshall pulls the hot cup away from his lips after receiving what must be at least first-degree burns. Marshall looks up to the sky, a beautiful clear night revealing all the stars. I mean seriously, you people that live in the city are really missing out on some beauty, take time to go camping and reconnect with nature. Disclaimer, this RP is sponsored by the National Parks Foundation.
Terry Marshall bows his head and folds his hands and begins to pray out loud. Marshall is a firm believer in prayer, and also drinking his milk, taking his vitamins, training, a balanced diet, truth, justice, and the American way.
Terry Marshall: Lord, you know how much I desire to get back into the ring. You know I feel that I have one more good run left in me, but I fear that I cannot make that run alone. I want to pass my knowledge down to a deserving young man. I want to pass the torch to the next generation, but I need the right person. I need not only a protege, but a partner.Suddenly, something shoots across the sky. Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it isn't Superman, at first it looks like a shooting star... no not a shooting star press but a small, rapidly moving meteor burning up on entering the earth's atmosphere. (See kids, this is funny and educational.). Marshall begins to make a wish, as you wish upon a star, but he realizes two things, 1 he isn't a Disney Princess, and 2 it isn't a shooting star.
A loud crash and bang is heard as the flaming ball slams into the bottom of the hill. Marshall jumps to his feet and like a bolt of lightning...get it, thunder, lightning.... Ok, well not like a bolt of lightning, but a 58-year-old with wore out knees Marshall makes his way down the bill to the wreck. Marshall heads downhill faster than this RP has and soon reaches something that resembles a low budget Syfy Network movie.
A crater larger than Candi Brittons butt crack is now formed in the base of the hill, and in that crater is a big round flying saucer. Stay with me here, remember this is satire. From the crater marches a figure more jacked and tan than a late 80's action movie star. Arms like Arnold, abs like Stallone, a chest like Lundgren, the handsome face of Van Dam, and the swagger of Segal. His hair whips in the wind like he is on the set of a Whitesnake video, and his face paint with Bob Ross quality brush technique hasn't sustained a single smudge. It is none other than the supreme intergalactic champion...Space Lord.
Terry Marshall: BROTHER! What in the world is going on?Space Lord: SNNNNOOOORRRRRTTT!!!! IT IS NOT WHAT IN THIS WORLD IS GOING ON! IT IS WHAT IN THIS INFANITLY EXPANDING UNIVERSE IS GOING ON!!!Terry Marshall: Are you ok man?Space Lord: GOD OF THUNDER, TERRY MARSHALL!!! I have returned to this, the third rock from your Sun, and I have returned seeking to face the Earth's mightiest warriors. BUT! Since those called the Avengers are battling John Wick for the box office championship, I will settle for your warrior of the Mountain that is a mile high.Terry Marshall: Are you saying that you are returning to the ring?Space Lord: IT'S A SQUARE!Terry Marshall: Yeah, it's a square, but it's called a ring because it gets its origins from the carnivals and circus which had rings... actually never mind. You are back to wrestle though brother?Space Lord: No... I am back to conquer this planets warriors.Terry Marshall: Well brother, you know this must be fate. I was just praying for a sign of a partner and you shot out of the Heavens and landed right here. Brother...how would you like to be my partner?Space Lord: Life partner?Terry Marshall: No.Space Lord: LLC Partner?Terry Marshall: No, my tag team partner. Think about it brother, the two most colossal forces in the universe teaming up. Brother we'd be powerful... like Mega Powers.Space Lords eyes squint as he thinks the decision over. If you could look inside of his head you would see the wind up monkey banging cymbals together. Space Lord: I don't like the name Mega Plowers.Terry Marshall: Well I said Mega Powers. Space Lord: What about the Ultimate Maniacs?Terry Marshall: I think someone has already used that.Space Lord: THE KEY TO SUCCESS IS A COOL NAME! HOW WILL WE EVER SUCCEED!?!?!Terry Marshall: Brother, I've got it... Sports Entertainment Express.Space Lord: XPRESS!Terry Marshall begins to laugh, and this gives Space Lord a puzzled look.Monologue
Star Date: 06092019Terry Marshall and Space Lord stand in front of a large graphic that says "SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT XPRESS" on it, in super rad early 90's scratch letters. Both men are dressed for battle, Marshall in his yellow trunks with a yellow tank top that reads "Thundering" across it, and his arms popping out and shinning from the baby oil. His arms are massive, they look like pythons... pythons that are 24 inches in diameter. Space Lord is just as shiny from baby oil, his face paint a baby purple and silver paying homage to the Rockies, even a mad man from space knows how to get a cheap hometown pop. Terry Marshall: BROTHER! Tonight, is the night, the Mile High Spectacular. Tonight, certainly will be spectacular, because BROTHER, TONIGHT THE SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT XPRESS IS RUNNING WILD!Space Lord: I would walk ten miles on my hands and knees. Ain't no doubt about it Full Throttle it's you I aim to destroy. I'd wrestle with a lion and a grizzly bear, but I was told PETA would protest. It's MY LIFE but I don't care, what bread says.Terry Marshall: Bread?Space Lord: Peta bread... it's Greek. Haven't you ever heard of a gyro?Marshall isn't going to put this over. He is on a Keto diet and refused to put over bread. Terry Marshall: Brothers and Sisters tonight Mile High Wrestling is going to be kicking it a little old school. Full Throttle might be young and faster, but the Xpress has knowledge and power on its side, and baby knowledge is power, and power is power. Space Lord: For the Mile High tag team championships I would swim the sea. Nothing I'd do for them that's too tuff for me. I'd put out a burning building with a shovel and dirt, and not even worry about getting hurtSuddenly the backstage interviewer stumbles in with a puzzled look on his face. I don't know which interviewer it was, because I don't know their names right off and when I was writing this proboards was down... I know, surprise, surprise, pro boards down. Anyway, just go with it.Backstage Interviewer: Hey, sorry I'm late but I was just in catering and...and... well there is a walking talking dude made out of pizza. MADE OUT OF PIZZA! HIS WHOLE BODY! PIZZA!Space Lord: Yes, Private Pizza, great pilot. His fingers are four cheese, but don't ask to try the meat lovers.Private Pizza is part of the crew of the Starship Desolator, him along with Private Bug Girl, Sargent Spot, Major Helmet, and First Mate Kirk comprise the motley crew led across the stars by Space Lord. To get this crew and a lot of the jokes about them you need to watch Space Balls. If you haven't watched Space Balls, then stop what you are doing right now and go watch it. Actually, read the rest of this RP first, like it, share it on Twitter, put it over, tell Rob it is the best RP ever and that you love it...and THEN got watch Space Balls.Backstage Interviewer: Yeah, I don't think I will be asking him that. Speaking of asking questions, I better do my job before I get fired. Terry Marshall, tonight is your first night back in the ring in over a decade, how do you think it will go?Terry Marshall: Brother... this is going to be great. I've been training like crazy. Pumping iron, hitting cardio. Diet is on point. I'm jacked and tan and tonight these twenty-four inch pythons... no... these twenty four inch Anacondas are going to show the world and show Full Throttle that they have another run in them. Krazy Kriss and Richie Raw will get that message loud and clear when I clasp these big hands of mine together, I pump up the bis and tries, I pull back and swing these arms like old Todd Helton.The crowd pops at the mention of Todd Helton, who is the Colorado Rockies all time leading Homerun Hitter at 369 homeruns. See, I told you this wasn't just funny, but was also educational.Terry Marshall: When I swing like Todd Helton, Kriss and Rich will know that Terry Marshall is back because they will be... THUNDER STRUCK!Marshall flexes his big old arms and the crowd reacts like the Vince McMahan falling out of his chair meme.Backstage Interviewer: Well Terry Marshall is ready for his comeback tonight. Do you have any words for tonight Space Lord?Space Lord: *SNNNNOOOOORRRRTTT!!!* I left my throne a billions of light years away. I drink the dew from your Mountains and sing the blues every day. Give me the strength to split the world in two now. I ate all the food in catering and now I've gotta eat you. Tonight, I dine in the ring and I dine on Krazy Richie and Raw Kriss. I dine on their flesh and send them to Valhalla to find with Odin. Backstage Interviewer: Uh... what does any of that mean?Terry Marshall: What my Brother Space Lord is saying, is that tonight Sports Entertainment Express is going to ring to take my prisoners and we are going to rock and roll and drop Full Throttle right in the middle of the ring for the one, two, three.Space Lord: NO! TONIGHT, WE DINE ON THEM!Backstage Interviewer: Like...like cannibalism?Space Lord: Tonight myself and my partner Thunder Lips.Marshall quickly covers the microphone with his hand. Marshall then whispers "kayfabe brother, remember only original characters only". Space Lord gives Marshall a big wink.Space Lord: RAWWWWWRRRRRRRR!!!Space Lords spins in a 360 circle and spins off the set like doing his best Tasmanian devil impersonation. The cartoon character that is, I don't think the real animal does that. The interviewer looks puzzled and shocked. His mouth is wide open, his jaw resting on the floor. Terry Marshall, one to never miss a chance to put himself over grabs the mic.Terry Marshall: TONIGHT, THUNDERMANIA RUNS WILD! TONIGHT, SPACE LORD'OMANIA RUNS WILD! TONIGHT, SPORTER ENTERTAINMENT XPRESSMANIA RUNS WILD! So, I gotta ask... Full Throttle what are you gonna do? What are you gonna do when the biggest force in our universe and the biggest force to travel the multiverse team up and step into the ring with you? WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO BROTHERS!?! It's ok if you don't know the answer, because in just a few short moments we are all going to find out when WE RUN WILD ALL OVER YOU AND ALL OVER THE MAGNESS ARENA! Mile High Wrestling...prepare to be... THUNDER STRUCK!!!!~Fin. |
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