Tyke Index vs Zombie

It’s been said when you love what you do for a living, you’ll never work a day in your life. My father used to tell me this all the time as he put on his police uniform and go to work. A true man’s man. Loved his family, put us before himself. Respected everyone, even the bad guys. He didn’t treat anyone poorly, and people respected him. Even those who weren’t fully trusting of police officers trusted my father. He lived the job, he loved the job, and he died doing the job. When I got in the Academy years later, I had a lot to look up to, and I was damn good at what I did. I got promotions, got to work on both coasts, you learn how circumstance and environment can alter the mind of a person. Allows them to do extraordinary things. Also allows them to fail spectacularly. That’s why I started Zombie Inc.

We’re a bail bondsmen service. Unlike a lot of others in the city, we’re not as hardened. We take chances, we give chances. Sometimes it doesn’t work in our favor, and we have to go looking for people, but I strive, and the company strives, to give people chances to avoid jail time while they wait for their day in court. We also handle repossessions. Again, most places, they get told to get the assets back immediately. We’re different. You miss a payment, we pay it once. Miss a second one though, the asset belongs to US, not the bank. And then we’ll sell it for a profit after the banks write it off. You’d be surprised the number of people who will wreck their car because they can’t pay for it. Honestly, it just gives Rocko more work to do. Keeps him busy, and out of Tony’s hair. And, trust me, you don’t want to be in Tony’s hair.

Tony’s the office manager. Also retired NYPD, and built like a brick shithouse. He and I spar on occasion, and while I can occasionally get one over on him, I pay for it for a few days afterward. Tony is our guy that gets the docs on bail jumpers. The first thing we do, we try to locate them by phone, call a family member or the co-signer on the bail and usually, we give them 48 hours to clear things up to avoid going back to jail. After those 48 hours, if there haven’t been any efforts made, then we do recon, locate the person ourselves. Then we cuff them, drop them off at the nearest precinct, revoke their bail, and sue for the amount.

It’s a tough job, but it pays the bills, it offers a necessary service, but I won’t lie, I miss the ring. I miss the roar of ten thousand, twenty thousand people, the lights, the drama, the fighting, that moment your music hits, the place gets electric. There’s nothing like that feeling. That's why you see some people in their fifties, sixties, even seventies once in a while who still try to go between the ropes, because of those feelings that can't be duplicated anywhere else. I love what I do, and I try to do it the best I can.

That's what brought me to Mile High. With changes to Shieldmaidens management, and talking to Bullet, I felt like I needed another place to wrestle. EWC is alright, but it's only on average about three days a month I'm on the road, and that doesn't cut it for me. I do a few indie bookings which are fun, a different animal. You might have a full house of six hundred people. No barricades, you might end up most likely than not fighting in the crowd. You can hear the crowd easier, you can tell if they're entertained or whether they're waiting for the next match to come along. Everybody dreams of fighting in large arenas, big companies. Fact is, if you can't win over an indie crowd, you'll never get beyond that.

So with Bullet, Bandit and Titaness already booked for Mile High Spectacular, I got to wondering about my chances. Got to wondering who I'd fight if I showed up. I didn't want Mosh again, hell I don't think the boy even belongs in a ring, let alone in front of the crowds he is. And then I saw the opening. Tyke Index in a Buried Alive match. I think I have some fair knowledge about being buried. I survived the trainwrecks that were Galactic and Hybrid. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t fault the people in charge, I just think there were gaps in booking logic. Too many places who book at parity, so nobody gets butthurt if they always look weak. So, yeah, didn’t stay long at either place, didn’t fit my style. All the power to them, but I’ll never watch either product anymore. I have other work to do.

So, I decided to do a little research on Tyke Index. Makes sense, helps to know who you’re fighting against. So, let’s cover the basics. A little taller, about forty pounds on me, and yet he kinda looks like a twig, and looks every bit the smug, misogynist punk I’ve heard about. A quick peek at his social media, and his listed win-loss record is impressive. Maybe inflated, may be inaccurate. I mean, come on Tyke, you say you’re a ten-year vet and you’ve only had a little over forty matches? Something seems off about that to me. I mean, my first year, I had just under a hundred and I was only doing indie shows on the weekends when I could. So, I’m going to go ahead and say grossly inaccurate.

And while we’re on the topic of wins and losses, heard a little rumor about a particularly bad loss you suffered at the hands of one of my brethren in the Chrome Dragons, Joseph Hunter. Even heard about your run-ins with RJ. Now, much as she’s a Maiden sister, and I protect my own, RJ’s actions and reactions are hers. She’d rather bitch than get revenge. Me? I’d rather fight. I’d rather kick your jaw clean off your face and leave you eating through a straw, but again, I can’t lose focus on the match at hand. I get to bury you alive.

Now, let’s look at the mechanics of this type of match. We beat the hell out of one another until one of us throws the other into a hole, and then we drop a ton of dirt on them to be declared the winner. I’ve seen a few of these in other places, and I also see a fundamental flaw in them. Mainly that the heel tends to get the victory, it draws heat. People would look at you and say that man is the heel in this match. I get that, even if they ARE wrong. You’re not a heel, Tyke. In fact, it’s all in your name. A small mischievous child. An unpleasant and coarse man. A mongrel. Personally, I like the late Middle English definition, and that’s a bitch. Pretty on the nose on all the definitions though.

So Bitch Index, this is how things are going to go down. I know you’re going to cut your little promos, take sexual shots at everybody you think wants you, but I’d be VERY careful who you target. I know you’ve targeted Bullet and Titaness in the past, which was pretty damn stupid of you. I won’t say low, you’d take that as a compliment. That’s your audience, you want to be that guy, the edgy one. The one emboldened by the man running this country who thinks it’s okay to grab women by the crotch. Yeah, met people like you before. Think they’re big shit until they run into somebody who not only WON’T take their shit but can take them down and apprehend them in seconds. Then they start barking, they try to be rabid dogs. They try going down with some shred of masked superiority, but they soon learn it doesn’t make a bit of difference. They were big, now they’re cuffed and under orders of someone else. The only difference between an apprehended man, and you at this moment, Tyke? We haven’t faced off yet. We haven’t stepped through those ropes and fought yet.

So, until Spectacular, you still have your rights. You still have the ability to run your mouth. Again, I would caution you, though I know my warning will go in one ear and out the other. This isn’t just a one-on-one match, Tyke. This isn’t like your match with Hunter. Sure, you may only SEE me, but you will feel the power of the Shieldmaidens with every blow I connect with. The fire and hearts of every member of my sisterhood will fuel me walking into this match. Every word, every action of your existence will be weighed in the balance, and I can already tell you, Tyke, you will be found wanting. You will come up short every single time because your words, your actions, and you yourself are simply too weak in the bigger picture.

You are a goldfish in a cup of water. Your world is only a little bigger than you are, so to you, you’re the greatest thing in it. Except the real world is much, MUCH, bigger. Now, I’ll tell you straight out, I’m not much in the big picture either. I can only affect what’s around me. However, what I DO have that you don’t is a sense of decency. A sense of honor. You fill yourself with bravado because you are empty. Light as a feather, and wouldn’t even move the scales. Me? I’m not needing to be saved because I already have been. The fact I can be here at this moment; a mother, a wife, a sister, a friend, an aunt. I am many things to many people and come Spectacular, I will be the one who will bury you alive.

I will bury you with your ass in the air, and I know as much as you’ll puff out your chest and tell me that’s the way you want to go so the whole world can kiss your ass. Again, I know how you are, and how stupid you’ll sound… but you’re close. See, I’m going to bury you ass-up so that every person who has had the unfortunate moment in their lives of having to admit to knowing you can get a free kick. The whole world won’t be kissing your ass, mongrel, they’ll be kicking it. And when the line-up finally ends, I’m going to find some Chinese fireworks, shove them where they split you, and light them fuckers go. Spectacular, indeed.

What’s in your head, Tyke?

I’m sure you’ve been waiting with bated breath for another love letter from me, but alas, I’m a busy woman. Took a flight out to Dublin, Ireland for an upcoming show on Monday. Yes, sadly, I’m not exclusive to Mile High, but you know how it is. Show up at a new place, set the world on fire… well, some of us can, others like yourself, well, I’m sure you’ve seen others do it. However, right now, I’m actually in Warrington, Cheshire, England to pay my respects. I doubt you’re aware, I’m sure you didn’t do THAT much research, or none really, so I’ll explain why I’m here.

March 20, 1993, the IRA bombed this city, killing two young Brits. The rest of the country weren’t too proud of this, there’s always been an ebb and flow with support for this terrorist group. Sadly, a couple of my Maiden sisters has a father who supports them. We haven’t met. Anyways, that incident sparked The Cranberries to write the song Zombie. The song’s been covered recently, and it’s the cover that is also my entrance music.

I had to come here because I’m ashamed of those countrymen who took matters in their own hands on that day. Much as the incident was twenty-six years ago, I felt it was my duty to apologize. See, while my wrestling name is Wendy Stevens, my real name is Wendy Lancaster. Not a common Irish last name, but my father’s family were from around Dublin, fine Irish people they were. So, me coming here was needed for more than just a wrestling show, it’s a way to get in touch with my roots. To understand the stories my father told me about. To see with my own eyes what was done. To appreciate what I fight for.

My nickname isn’t some gimmick, I live this every single day. I am a zombie two-fold. I was one part numb to it all, going through life with no emotion until I woke up to the social injustices that caused that incident, and many others the world over. And I am a zombie as a representation of all the fallen who rose up again to fight back. The souls of the past generations who can no longer sleep soundly knowing their very heritage is being threatened repeatedly. That humanity as a whole is being wiped out by the senseless violence of others who choose to alter the very direction of their peoples.

That's what's called research. You should try it sometime.

So, Tyke, here we are again. A volley each, a bit of that feeling each other out process. OUT, not up. Your hands come at me, you’ll be wiping your ass with a cat’s scratching post. Don’t fantasize about you and me in some dance, with waves and shit, it’ll never happen. Especially after seeing that picture of you in your living room you posted at the end of your promo. You obviously have nothing that interests me and dare I say, nothing that would satisfy even the less-choosy of people. You’re about ninety cents shy of a dollar stack of dimes.

And yet, I did learn something from our first exchange. Alright, I’ll admit, I whiffed on the prison thing, so I thought I’d dig a little deeper. I also learned that you’d rather just make shit up to try to bog me down in defending myself, thus playing your game and allowing you to get some sort of psychological advantage. However, I think with what I found, I hit upon a few goldmines that explain quite a few things about you. Why you act as you do towards any of us. And, I have to tell ya, Tyke. It really doesn’t look good for you. In fact, I’d even go so far to say that I have much more of an advantage on you than you’d care to admit. Now, everything I’m going to drop on you can be proven. I watched it all unfold, jotted down a few notes, so everything is completely factual. Unlike the bullshit you spouted about, which I’ll get to a little later. It helps to lay the groundwork down. Bury you that much more. Then again, by your own admission, you’ve been buried for a long, long time.

Let’s discuss why you really don’t like us, and I guess we have to start with the elephant in the room, and that would be Robi Jean “Valkyrie” Mitchell. And to do that, we’ll go back to July 18th, 2018. It was you, Skrabz and Azurine Vebbins taking on the team of RJ, Forge, and your old buddy, now mine, Sam “Titaness” Hamilton. On that night, you didn’t fare so well, taking the pin for your team. Sure, you got a surprise win over Forge the following week, which even I’ll admit to being a bit impressed with. *cough* Screw job *cough*

August 23rd, 2018, you didn’t fight a Shieldmaiden, but you did fight a Chrome Dragon in Joseph Hunter. Much like that six-man tag match, you came up short. September 6th, 2018, you were in a fatal four-way match with Alex “Bullet” Carbajal, Titaness again, and Solomon Cain. That match set up what would become the main event of Spectacular coming up next week. Now, seeing as you’re not in the main event, I think we both know what happened in that match, and that would be you lost yet again. Cain is off fighting Skrabz, and you ended up in this match.

With me.

So, if my math is correct, that puts you at a record of 0-4 against the Shieldmaidens. Couple that with the fact that none of us have taken you up on your advances, and some I’ve noticed have even been outright physical against you, I can understand why you’re not a fan of us.

But, back to RJ, because I know a lot of people in Mile High weren’t high on her, and to be fair, she’s not a likable person. I kinda got a kick out of Katrina Mack calling her a slave owner, which again, to be fair, she’s a very militant person. Great strategist, had grand ideas, but yes, she was a hard-ass who wanted the best for herself at times. With her out of the company, I watched the efforts people made to rid Mile High of the rest of us.

And that also failed. The world watched when Bullet, Bandit, and Titaness stood in that ring on August 16th, each of them with their respective championships. Our other sisters Bruiser, Psycho, and Banshee at their sides. And without our then-president, said they weren’t going anywhere. Titles, I should add, they STILL have, and will successfully defend at Spectacular. So, sure, yet another reason not to be a fan of ours.

And now here we are, nine months later, and not only are Bullet, Bandit, and Titaness BACK in Mile High, but they brought reinforcements. Their manager, Banshee, is back. Her sister Psycho is here. I’M here with Lexa. And we have our bodyguard, Knox. Again, doing the math, that brings our numbers to eight. If you don’t like us now, you’re really going to hate us when we take over this company. Especially with Bullet calling the shots? You’ve seen nothing yet.

Again, Tyke. Research.

Now, I want to quote you on something. I don’t have my notes for this, but this was a quote from your lips back near a year ago. You said “together you are indestructible but on your own? On your own, you are vulnerable and not worthy of a single dime”. Now, I’ll admit, that’s a pretty ballsy statement. I’m sure Skrabz had that same sentiment before Bullet pinned him. I’d also like to think with your history with Sam, you know what she’s capable of. You might have been a big fish in HcW, but history has shown that in Mile High, you’ve yet to live up to your hype. You’ve had some decent victories in tag matches, but your solo efforts haven’t exactly been lighting up the scoreboard, so tell me, Tyke. On your own, how vulnerable are you? How worthy are you?

Your win-loss record tells me… not much.

You’re 0-4 against the Maidens. Put aside your bravado, step away from the coke, and ask yourself this. How confident are you really? Any answer other than not is false. You can do your pretty entrances, and run your mouth, but every word that you speak rings hollow. You can’t be confident, you can’t be looking at this match as a guaranteed win. When you come up on big matches, you choke. Can you legitimately tell me that the last nine months has changed anything? I’d say doubtful. Hell, I don’t even think you know what today’s date is, let alone realize nine months have gone by.

By the way, it's the early morning hours of June 1st 2019 where I am right now. You're welcome.

Now, if I can be serious for a minute, I have to admit that watching your promo was an experience along the lines of a trip to Taco Bell. Looks good on the surface, mostly filler, and leaves you with the shits at the end of it. I mean, come on. You had to try to bring my family into it. Did you learn that in Being Heelish 101? Come on, Tyke, I would have hoped someone of your alleged caliber would have come up with something better than that. Personal attacks? Wow. Almost feels like you were hoping to trigger me or something. Or maybe you were just trying to throw everything at the wall to see what would stick.

So, let me explain a few things to you. Far as my business goes, it’s legitimate. I’m not fleecing anyone, and as I explained in clear English, we do things a little different so we are NOT taking advantage of people. I have a very rich life, and yes, I went through hell to get it. I have had a weathered life, but everything I endured brought me to this moment. On a personal level, I am quite loved. Motherhood and cohabitation look good on me and feels even better. I wouldn’t trade a minute of any of it. Professionally, I stand with a group of very strong women. Nobody has to ALLOW me to do anything, my choices are my own. You needed an opponent, and I answered the call. I didn’t NEED this match, I WANTED this match. I don’t NEED you. I’m using this match, and by extension, you. Using this match to make a rather large impact in this company. I spoke to my sisters after I asked for this match, and they told me I probably have the biggest challenge out of all of us. They also know I can more than handle myself in it. The fact you believe they are setting me up for failure is laughable. You have NO inclination as to what I can do, so you grasp at straws. Try to make me doubt myself. Try to make me angry and screw up.

It’s pathetic. YOU’RE… pathetic. I don’t see a world champion in you. I see a frail, scared little boy. Someone who has to be the loudest voice, the biggest presence, a total dick. It’s all a facade. And I have a theory. I haven’t proven this yet, but based on what I see, what I hear in you, I’m likely not wrong. I think while you were in prison, somebody called you the Wizard of Oz. I hate to burst your bubble, but they weren’t talking about Dorothy or the Tin Man. You were targeted for ease of pulling back your curtain and exposing you, repeatedly. Prison changes people when they’ve been in there for a while. Again, just a theory, Scarecrow.

Now, before I leave, I want to touch upon one last piece of your past. I left this for the end because of its irony. On June 9th, 2018, you said Mile High needed somebody like you. Came in with all the hype Mile High could generate. Hell, Robert Mack himself said he wouldn’t face you because he didn’t think he had a chance of winning. Then again, those who can wrestle, step into a ring. Those who can’t run companies.

Yes Rob, that's called a stab. Hope you got better lately, health-wise I mean. Last we heard, poor Katrina was saying you were dying.

How ironic though, Tyke, in a year to the day, Mile High will indeed need somebody like you once again. This time it’ll be for only one reason.

To be Buried.

Alive.

What’s in your head?