ACT 1: Baka
Muriko comes out of her bedroom, nose wrinkled as she asks, “Who let the dog in here?”
From the kitchen, Huruka answers, “There’s no dog. What are you talking about, big sister?”
Entering the kitchen, Muriko shakes her head as she sees Huruka trying to cook again, “Oh hell no! What did I say about trying to cook? You suck.”
Huruka is adding some mustard to something brown and blotchy in a pan as Muriko comes up and looks at the disgusting creation, “What is that supposed to be?”
“Fried Chicken.”
Muriko blinks as she stares at the contents and shakes her head, “I don’t think fried chicken is supposed to be moist.” She pushes her sister out of the way, grabs a potholder and lifts the pan off the head and walks over to the trash can and dumps the entire contents into the canister.
“Hey!”
Muriko sets the pan in the sink and shakes her head, “You’re trying to kill us all, you idiot. I told you before, give up cooking.”
“What are we going to eat?”
“I’ll just make a sandwich.”
Huruka perks up, “I’ll make it for you!”
“No. Never. Last time you put paprika and pumpkin spice on it.”
“Just that one time! Please?”
“Absolutely not.”
“Just once?”
“I’m trying to live to my next birthday.”
The two go back and forth before Huruka gives up and starts to clean up the kitchen, while Muriko pulls out stuff to make sandwiches. When finished she gives one to her sister and takes the other into the other room to turn on the TV.
Huruka takes a bite and looks surprised. “It’s good. Thank you, big sister!” She brings her plate with her and sits down on the couch next to Muriko. “Who’s this team we have to face? Did you look them up?”
Muriko shakes her head as she chews a bite of her sandwich, swallowing before answering. “Some weirdos. I think they hang out with that sexist bastard that’s been all over the Twitter getting everyone all riled up.”
“The Bible guy?”
“Yeah, that guy.”
“He’s kind of a dummy. Idiot.”
“Not kind of, he is. One hundred percent.”
Huruka takes another bite of her sandwich and looks at the TV before commenting, “We will just have to kick their butt then if they want to associate with someone like him.”
Muriko glances at her sister, “Don’t worry, we will.” She then reaches for the remote to turn the volume up on the TV, drowning out any more of her sister’s mindless yammering.
ACT 2 - Yes, Father
Muriko walks into the room, hearing her sister talking to someone on the phone and gives her a quizzical look.
Huruka somehow pantomimes that it’s their father before returning the conversation, “Still undefeated. We beat that team last week.”
Muriko sticks her tongue out and shakes her head, making sure her sister doesn’t let on to her dad that she’s available to chat. She doesn’t need him yelling at her again over that incident in Japan.
Huruka nods in understanding before she says into the phone, “No. She stepped out. Groceries, I think.”
Muriko covers her mouth so she doesn’t laugh.
“I’ll tell her. Yes, father, I told her last time that you wanted her to call. Well, I can’t make her call you, but I’ll tell her again. Yes, father. Okay, father. Bye, father.” She finally hangs up the phone and turns to Muriko, “You need to call him. Everytime he keeps asking about you.”
Muriko tosses her hand up and shakes her head, “I got nothing to say. He banished us from Japan.”
Huruka sighs, “Well, it wasn’t like he had a choice.”
Muriko shakes her head, “He had a choice. I did what I had to do and I don’t regret it one minute.”
“I know. I’m rather glad you did do it.”
“Thanks.”
“Are you practicing your English?”
“Why do you think I put the subtitles on the TV? Why do I need to speak English?”
“So we can cut promos on the TV!”
“They can keep putting the words at the bottom. Who cares?”
“Well, I’m going to keep learning. Who knows how long Father will keep us here.”
“As angry as he was, he might not let us come back at all.”
Huruka sighs, “I hope that’s not true. He didn’t seem very angry on the phone.”
“I guess we will just have to wait and see. Honestly, I’m not ready to go back yet anyway. We’re just getting started and I’m sure we will be taking on the champs soon. Beating the champs, whoever they are after the PPV, will certainly go a long way in pleasing father.”
ACT 3: Promotion (vs. Maximum Dynomite)
As the sisters arrive to meet the production crew to cut their promo for their upcoming match with the debuting Maximum Dynomite, Huruka pulls a championship belt from her bag and begins to put it around her waist.
Muriko looks at her for a moment, “Why do you have that?”
Huruka looks down at the belt and then back to her sister, “It’s mine. I won it.”
“Dummy! You were supposed to give that back to the promotion before you left Japan! Take it off! How did you even get that here and why are you just now pulling it out?”
Huruka shrugs as she sits down on the bench in front of a backdrop, “I just thought now was the time. Let’s go.”
Muriko just shakes her head as she whacks her sister on the top of the head and mutters, “Dummy.”
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ON CAMERA (w/ subtitles)
DTI sits on a bench in front of a backdrop as they are given the cue to start and Muriko starts first, “Maximum Dynomito! Welcome to the Mile High Wrestling! You need to understand that you are going up against the undefeated Double Team Ihari!...”
Huruka interrupts, “DTI!”
Muriko looks over at her sister somewhat annoyed. She turns back to the camera, “You are new so understand that you will not stop our undefeated…
Huruka interrupts again, “Why do we have to face these guys anyway? I’m a champion. And I’m in the first match with a bunch of babies. They don’t even know how to act on the Twitter! And why do they hang out with Bible guy? Don’t they have better friends to hang out with? It’s so annoying!”
Muriko puts her head in her hands and mutters, “Please stop talking about that championship. It’s not yours.”
Huruka shakes her head and whines, “I won it fair and square and no one beat me for it, so I’m still the champion.”
Muriko looks over at her, “You’re supposed to return it when you leave a promotion without losing it and they’ll put it in a tournament or something. Why are you so dumb? Can we get back on topic here because we only have so long to do this.”
Huruka nods her head, running her hand over her championship like she were pregnant with child, “Okay.”
Muriko looks back at the camera, “Maximum Dynomito, you need to understand that we are not going to let you come in here and sidetrack us from our current goal which is to win the Tag Team Championships. We plan on going into the special undefeated and meet the champions, either the Sexpress or the Shieldmaidens…”
Huruka perks up and claps her hands together, “Shieldmaidens! I love them! So cute!”
“... whoever wins at the PPV coming up. We will come to the ring after the match and issue a formal challenge to the winners,” Muriko continues, “We want a championship match! Do not take us lightly! We have fought hard and we are undefeated. We will be undefeated champions in the Mile High Wrestling. Until then Maximum Dynomito, your first match will be your first loss. Deal with it.”
Huruka chimes in, “Yeah, we don’t like you or your friends so take that!”
Muriko concludes, “So bring it all because we will leave it all in the ring along with your beaten bodies and our hand raised in victory as the winners. We say that because we are…”
They both put up a hand signal and yell, “DTI!”
Muriko turns to her sister, “Get the address for the promotion and let’s mail that belt back before father finds out.”
“Do I have to? I like it so much!”
“Yes, yes you have to.”
“Fine. What if he asks to talk to you?”
“I’m at the gym.”
ACT 4 - Twitterisms
“Baka!”
Huruka comes hurrying into the living room as her sister screamed, “What is it?”
“Dynomito posted a response to my picture I put on the Twitter!” she exclaims as he passes it off to her sister who had already translated it into Japanese. “Those dummies think they’re not going to have to do any promos for their match!”
Huruka continues to look at the picture, “It looks like they’re just jumping on things.”
“They’re so dumb. We go to the gym every day and train. We don’t just jump on things.” Muriko stands up and snatches her phone back from her sister as she continues to scroll, “Did you throw away that Shieldmaiden’s T-shirt, like I told you?”
“Yes,” Huruka says hesitantly.
“You’re a horrible liar,” Muriko accuses as she starts to walk towards her sister’s room but Huruka runs in front and blocks the door.
“Why do you want it?”
Muriko puts her phone down and looks at Huruka, “I want to make sure you still have it. I have an idea.”
Huruka narrows her eyes, “What is it?”
Muriko grins widely, “I’ll show you when I go buy one myself.” Muriko turns and walks back into the living room.
Huruka watches her, “What are you going to do to my shirt? I wanted an autograph!”
Silence.
“What do you want my shirt for?”
Silence.
“Big sister!”
More silence.
Huruka growls under her breath, “She’s up to something…”
Act 5: Slim Gym
The Ihari sisters are sparring with each other at the gym, waiting on their actual sparring opponents who had texted they were going to be late. After their sparring session with each other, they paused to get some water and take a breather.
“I saw a picture of Dynomito. They are tall men. Very tall.” Huruka is explaining to her older sister.
“How tall? Ten feet?”
Huruka laughs, “Don’t be silly. Not that tall. No one is that tall.”
“Nine Feet? Eight Feet?”
“No no. Maybe six and a half feet.”
“That’s kinda tall. Pity they won’t be that tall when they’re on their back looking at the lights. Maybe they’ll think they’re stargazing.”
“Oh, I like looking at the stars,” Huruka adds.
Muriko shakes her head, “Stupid. The lights will be the stars.”
“Not as pretty as actual stars though,” Huruka comments before taking another drink from her water bottle.
The gym door opens and two tall dudes walk in, “Sorry we’re late. You needed sparring partners?”
Muriko nudges her sister’s side, “That tall?”
Huruka inspects the guys and shrugs, “Maybe. I guess.”
Muriko grins, “See. I know what I’m doing here.” She turns to the guys and motions to the ring, “Let’s go.” She says in actual English. “Have match soon.”
Huruka nods, “Maximum Dynomito!”
The guys look at each other, “Really? We hate those guys. More than happy to help. Let’s do it.”
The sisters look at each other and nod as everyone gets into the ring and the scene fades.
